is the script for Part One of this unpublished comic!
Note: The following was taken directly from
TITLE: "TWO DWEEBS & A LITTLE
MONSTER" (the script)
AUTHOR: "Christina Mavroudis" email@example.com
SYNOPSIS: Sam leaps into a baby and a full-load. Kidnapped by two brothers with the
prospect of being sold to baby brokers, he'd get himself out of 'the mess' but the future
NOTES: Written for Innovation Comics. Part I of a three part "Childhood" series.
Future publication uncertain.
# OF CHAPTERS: Five
EPISODE REF: Situated between the first two Evil Leaper episodes.
This story was initially part of "Quantum Chain Novel" edited/created by
Julie Barrett. (I believe there are two different editions of "QCN" now
available from Julie.) I was given the leap in and then had five pages
to create a story. Needless to say I was enthralled with the prospect of
putting Sam in a baby. Afterall, Scott Bakula always said that was the
one scenario he would have liked to do. The story grew into a script which
I tried to pitch to the Leap office. Never having the opportunity, I
started searching other outlets. I approached Innovation about doing a
comic and was greeted enthusiatically. After a year of sweating out the
pages - then enduring delay after delay with its publication, we're now
hearing that Innovation may be going out of circulation. Well - darn it -
I wanted someone to have a chance to read this. So here it is: first the
original story and then the script.
In the script there is a character named Miriam. I named her after
my friend Miriam Ferziger who passed away last April. The script, however
was written months before she died. I wanted people to know that Miriam
was quite excited about being in the comic even though the character was
described as a cold-fish. (Far from the truth for the character's name-
sake!) She happily quipped, "As long as she's stylishly dressed, no
problem." It's sad to think that Miriam left us 12 days after this script
was completed... and I was saving the dedication as a surprise.
Also - I believe my ending was going to be radically re-written for the
comic. Too 'insider-ish.'....but we may never know.
Here was the original note from the editor that I asked Innovation to
print with the story."
FROM THE WRITER:
Please note that this story was not intended to be insensitive to the
plight of parents with missing/kidnapped children. Rather, I wrote it
merely to put Sam in a dramatic situation which lent itself to humor.
Also note that this was conceived two years ago, and written months before
"Deliver Us From Evil" (aka "Evil Leaper - Part I".) Alia was
into the second draft written between the airing of Parts I and II/III.
Consequently, this story takes place between those first two leaps.
Many thanks to Scott Bakula, who for years now has requested Sam leap into
a baby, thus challenging my creative juices to come up with this version.
Hope it fits the bill, Sir.
Finally, huggies (no diapers!) to all those supportive of this endeavor:
the Rondeaus, Kathy Dunn, Miriam Ferziger (for the loan of her name!), the
Mavroudis', and especially George Broderick, who encouraged, edited, and
generously offered me the vent for pent-up Leap ideas.
NOTE: This is written in comic not
television script format. All dialogue
is in a 'balloon' or 'bubble'. 'SFX' is a sound effect. A 'splash page' is
a whole page with one drawing or including a few inset panels. A 'burst'
is dialogue in an exploding balloon. Page one is a recap of the Leap
opener: "....hoping his next leap will be the leap home."
TWO DWEEBS & A LITTLE MONSTER by Christina Mavroudis
ACTION: Leap effect ends with Sam Beckett nose-to-nose with a giraffe.
His mouth has a baby pacifier in it. Both their eyes are widened.
ACTION: Full shot of Sam, dressed in red shorts and suspenders, white
t-shirt, crew socks and Buster Brown shoes. He holds a half eaten blob
of blue cotton candy. Residual sugar crystals cling to his upper lip,
fingers and sections of his t-shirt. His other hand is being held by a
young, white, brown-haired lady dressed in purple and green paisley
ski-pants and matching mid-driff. Though she's wearing very 60's sun-
glasses, she shields her eyes and appears to be searching for something
or someone. Sam backs away from the straining neck of the giraffe whose
attempting to eat his blue fluff. The continuous presence of the
pacifier is making Sam drool, accidently, of course.
1 MARY: Where is your father?
2 SAM: Ahh, hvoy!
ACTION: Close on Sam who realizes he has a foreign object in his mouth.
He looks cross-eyed down on the binky.
ACTION: Sam spits out the binky. It's not a pretty sight.
3 SFX: Ptooee!
ACTION: Sam looks down at his clothes, his eyes furrowing in confusion.
His cotton candy is above his head as he tries to figure out who he is.
The giraffe takes it as a cue to eat the sugar puff.
MARY: I'm going to kill that bum. Where is he?
SAM: I don't know, but this is awful.
ACTION: Sam looks up surprised at the animal helping himself.
Mary is still looking around.
4 SAM (to giraffe): Please. Help yourself.
ACTION: Mary picks up the binky Sam spit out. Sam gets closer to Mary
to avoid the giraffe's chewing mouth and spies a sign next to the pen
which reads: "Do Not Feed The Animals."
5 SAM: Oops.
6 MARY: Oh, Honey. Don't do that.
ACTION: Mary tries to stuff the binky back in Sam's mouth. Sam, like
any self-respecting adult, tries to thwart this with an upraised elbow.
7 SAM (burst): NO!
8 MARY: Fine. C'mon, Punkin.
ACTION: Inset panel in top left of splash page. Mary is tugging Sam
by the hand. Sam is barely able to keep up.
1 MARY: Let's try finding him by the elephants.
2 SAM: Whoaa!
ACTION: Inset panel in top right of splash page. Mary and Sam are
passing by the monkey cage. Sam has suddenly clutched one of the bars.
Mary looks behind to see why they've suddenly stopped. This is a
side profile shot of Sam and Mary. (No dialogue.)
ACTION: Splash panel. Takes up rest of page. We see over the shoulder
of Sam. He is looking into the monkey cage. On the opposite wall,
through the bars, Sam sees his mirror image: Bobby Levitz, an 15
month old wide-eyed, brown haired toddler, with diapers peeking
through the short shorts. His jaw has dropped in surprise. Several
chimpanzees are looking at Sam with even wider eyes.
3 SAM: Oh, boy. I'm a baby!
4 LOGO: QUANTUM LEAP
5 TITLE: "TWO DWEEBS AND A LITTLE MONSTER"
6 CAPTION: AUGUST 18, 1962
7 CREDITS: Created by DONALD P. BELLISARIO
Written by CHRISTINA MAVROUDIS
Illustrated by MIKE DEODATO, SR.
Lettered by VICKIE WILLIAMS
Colored by SCOTT ROCKWELL
Edited by GEORGE BRODERICK, JR.
ACTION: Sam, finally able to pry his eyes off this new persona,
notices the chimpanzee in the cage is reaching out to him, her
lips puckered. He reaches out , but can't touch her as he is
being lurches away by Mary. Mary looks in the opposite direction,
still scanning the area.
1 SAM: Cory! Remember me? Wait. You're not--
2 MARY: Let's go, Boo-boo. We'll go back to the car. He's bound
to show up there.
3 SAM: Tell me it's not "Boo-boo." I've already been a "Bo-Bo."
ACTION: Still in her vise-like grip, Sam suddenly pulls her to a stop.
His nose crinkles a bit, and his hand tentatively goes to his bottom.
4 SAM: Oh, geeze.
5 MARY: What is it, Boo-boo?
6 SAM: I pooped.
7 MARY: I know you're tired, Honey, but we have to find Daddy.
ACTION: Sam and Mary, hand in hand exit the zoo. Letters over the
entrance are backwards: "OOZ SELEGNA SOL". Beyond the gate is the
parking lot with vintage late 1950 cars. Sam's legs are askew in a
desperate attempt to get comfortable.
8 MARY: C'mon, Sweetie. It's only a little bit more to the car.
ACTION: Sam is being strapped into the back seat of a 1960 Buick.
He is obviously in major distress - a spreading mess beneath him
the major problem. Mary rambles on oblivious.
9 MARY: Where is that dum-dum daddy of yours? And Bobby just look
at your shirt. Sometimes I feel like I'm taking care of two babies.
10 SAM: Aw, please lady. Can't you smell? I need a....
ACTION: Sam suddenly freezes when he see that Mary is looking straight
at him. In a profile shot, they are eyeball to eyeball.
11 MARY: Boo-Boo?
12 SAM: Mama?
ACTION: Mary shakes her head as if to clear her mind of "voices",
finishes strapping him in - the belt and her hands uncomfortably
close to tender areas and bent so that her bosom is practically
in his face. Sam looks up relieved at this near call. Al is silhouetted
against the Imaging Chamber door, his upper torso halved through the
car seat, and his eyes glued to the endowments present for inspection.
He chomps on his cigar, appreciative of the sight.
AL: Oh, Honey. Let me be your baby!
ACTION: Mary tries to clean Sam's groady "T" as Sam gives Al that
now familiar glare. Al gets back to business, punching a few link buttons.
AL: We had a hard time locating you, Sam. Your counterpart is not a
14 AL: Strange seeing the image of your body in a fetal position,
sucking your thumb.
ACTION: In frustration, Sam plucks his thumb to his mouth, glaring
as if to say "get on with it."
ACTION: Mary takes this indication to mean 'thirst.' She pulls Sam's
thumb out with a "thwak" and replaces it with a juice bottle. Sam
reflexively gags. Al laughs.
1 MARY: Mommy's sorry, Boo-Boo. She's just worried. Now stay here,
2 SFX: Thwak!
3 SAM: AKK!
ACTION: Mary steps away from the car again. Sam retracts the droolly
nipple from his lips
4 SAM: Not funny, Al. How is the real baby?
5 SAM: And why am I here?
6 AL: The baby's okay--just sleeping it off. Let's see...
7 AL: Well, we don't have much. From what we could gather so far,
your name is--
ACTION: Sam rattles off the list he has so far. Al holds up one finger
to indicate how old Sam host is.
8 SAM: Boo-Boo. Or Honey. Or Sweetie.
9 AL: It should be Sloppy. No, it's Bobby. Bobby Levitz. You're this many
years old. and you can walk but your vocabulary is very limited. Mary
Levitz, your amply-endowed mother outside there, is looking for your
father, Bruce Levitz, a CPA who just got his business degree.
10 AL: They just bought a cute little house in the San Fernando Valley
for $13,000. Jeeze! You can't even make a down payment on a house
with that amount...
ACTION: Sam gives him the evil eye. Al hits the handlink. From
outside the window we can now read the entrance gate sign: "Los
Angles Zoo" and see Mary in the distance still searching for that
11 AL: Oh. Ziggy's got something.
12 SAM: Finally.
13 AL: Something about Bobby getting lost. Er..No.. Lost Angeles. Bobby's
reported missing in Los Angeles.
14 AL: Sam, you're in L.A.--
15 SAM: Al, I know. Can we get something pertinent here? What do you mean
16 AL: It looks like it was a kidnapping. Sorry, we don't have more.
Ziggy's accessing a slower CPU.
17 SAM: Well, tell them to hurry. I want out of here fast. This is worse
than being pregnant, or a chimp.
ACTION: Al points to the juice filled bottle in Sam's hand.
18 AL: At least this time your bottle isn't filled with caterpillars.
19 SAM: Don't remind me.
ACTION: Close on Sam's suddenly panicked eyes. The keys have been
left in the ignition.
20 SAM: Uh, oh--
ACTION: Sam is working frantically at the belt. It's not opening. Al grins.
1 AL: What's the problem, Sam? If you have to go, just...
right where you are.
2 SAM: I...Bobby already has.
3 AL: Good thing I can't smell.
4 SAM: It's not that. Look!
ACTION: Sam indicates the keys. Al's eyes widen as his brain puts two
and two together.
5 SAM: Check with Ziggy. Maybe this is when Bobby gets kidnapped.
6 AL: Don't panic. Let me check around.
ACTION: Overhead shot of parking lot. Al's head pops up out of the car
scanning the area. In the far left corner we see two suspicious male
Joe is twenty-eight, gruff, tough, and angry enough to spit
nails. Len, twenty-two, shakes nervously, still not used to a life of
crime. Both are greasy, dirty, unkempt and headed Sam's way.
Unfortunately, Mary is in the upper right corner, looking the other way.
7 7AL: I've spotted some mighty suspicious characters, Sam. And I don't
think they're looking through car windows for the view.
8 SAM: What am I going to do? This belt is latched tighter than--
9 AL: Tina's boa?
10 SAM; Tina's boa?! What the hell are you talking about? I can't get
ACTION: Sam's panic turns frantic. He struggles with the seat belt, but the
angle of the belt, slick fingers, and the urgency are no help. With a bang,
Joe and Len are in the front seats, screeching off .
11 JOE: Heeha, Len! The keys're still in here! This is almost too easy!
12 JOE: We may even make enough money to send back home for Terry
13 LEN: Big Ben says he'll pay $100 sight unseen for a moving vehicle.
I think we can get at least $150 -- there's no damage and...
14 SFX: Slam!
15 SFX: WHRR-WHRR-VROOM!
ACTION: With a double-take, Len suddenly spots Sam in the back. Sam waves a
16 LEN: ...and...and...
ACTION: Sam and Len, almost nose to nose, scream in shock at one another.
Their eyes, and mouths are opened wide.
17 SAM & LEN (burst): AHHHHHHH!!!!
ACTION: Joe turns around briefly. In the rear-view mirror, we see "Bobby"
- the baby, but no reflection of Al. NOTE: Vickie, the "Al" bubble is
attached to nothing.
18 JOE: What the--?!
19 LEN: Joe, we're in a mess of trouble.
20 AL: No, Sam's in mess, you're just in trouble.
ACTION: The car zooms toward the zoo exit. Balloon has three tails.
21 ALL THREE: Oh, boy!
ACTION: Establishing shot. The parking lot where Mary returns with
BRUCE LEVITZ, a 25 year old hulking man with linesman muscles and
military crew-cut. He's humbly being chewed out by his wife.
1 MARY: I can't believe you were in a snack line for a half hour!
ACTION: Close of Mary's face as she rushes forward where the car was
parked. Her complexion turns pale.
2 MARY (quiet): Oh, God. Bruce--It's gone!
ACTION: She suddenly sees the speeding car exiting the Zoo grounds.
Big shot of lot, car, and the young parents. We can bearly see the
outline of Sam's mournful face through the back window.
3 MARY: My baby.
4 BRUCE: What?!
5 MARY (burst): MY BABY!
6 SAM (burst): HELP!
ACTION: Mary has passed out in Bruce's arms. A crowd gathers.
7 BRUCE: Somebody call the police. They've stolen my boy.
ACTION: Sam is leaning in close to Len. Joe is sweating bullets
waiting at a stop light to enter the freeway. Len is very animated
(no pun intended).
8 LEN: What, what are we going to do, Joe? Joe?
9 JOE: Shuddup, I'm thinking!
10 SAM: Look guys. I know you must be desperate--
ACTION: From Sam's POV, Len looks at him dumbfounded. Sam holds up
11 LEN: I didn't think two-year olds could say "desperate"?
12 LEN: Uh, One-year olds...sorry.
13 JOE: He was talking gibberish. Look, we'll drop the kid
somewhere after we get this car to Big Ben.
14 LEN: But if we're caught, we'll be charged with kidnapping.
ACTION: Joe smacks Len on the side of the head.
15 JOE: If we don't get to Ben's quick, we will be caught.
16 AL: Piece of cake, Sam. These guys are a couple of stooges.
17 SAM: And what am I? Baby Huey?!
ACTION: Exterior of car again racing down a Los Angeles freeway.
(Show freeway sign that reads: "I-5 South - Downtown Los Angeles.")
Rememer Joe is driving and Len's in the front passenger seat.
18 JOE: What?
19 LEN: He's talking!
20 JOE: You're hearing things.
21 SAM: Goo-goo
22 JOE: See?
ACTION: Len and Joe continue arguing while Sam and Al talk.
1 AL : "Goo-goo?"
S2 AM : Ziggy got anything now?
3 AL: Okay. Here we go. Bobby was sold to a babe. Oh, you lucky
dog. No wait. A babe - ee. A baby.
4 SAM: I am a baby.
5 AL: Actually, a baby...broker.
6 SAM (burst): A baby broker?!
ACTION: Sam and Al stare in regret as Joe picks up the words.
7 JOE: Good idea, Len.
8 LEN: What?
9 JOE: A baby broker. We'll ask Ben if he knows where we can find
one. Oh, yeah! More money.
10 AL: Good going, Sam.
11 LEN: But Joe, what about the parents? How would you feel about
losing a baby?
12 JOE: They could have another.
13 LEN; You don't just make another kid, Joe. The term "bun in the
oven" was not meant to be taken literally.
14 JOE: Ohh. Aren't we the philosopher?
ACTION: Sam and Len continue speaking with their respective partners.
15 AL: Ziggy says Joe Schmo and Pig-Pen Len here are brothers from
Iowa. Last name Wallace. They actually get away with the kidnapping
and are never caught.
16 AL: Mary and Bruce divorce over the stress and Bobby is never
located. Looks like they changed his name when he was put up for
adoption. If he was put up for adoption.
17 SAM: Hurry and find out what happened, Al. I'm feeling a little
helpless here. And uncomfortable.
Panel three (continued)
18 AL: Aw, quit acting like a baby. Oh...and Dr. Beeks says to remind
you not to be too verbal. Unlike the chimp, you have human vocal
chords. If someone concentrates--
ACTION: Sam realizes Len is staring straight at him. He talks to Al
from the side of his mouth. Al's got a 'we're in trouble now' look.
19 SAM: They'll understand--me?
20 LEN: Joe. Joe! I'm not kidding. That baby's talking.
ACTION: Joe wallops Len.
21 LEN: Whaddya do that fer?
22 JOE: Enough with the lies!We have to concentrate. Now I don't want
any more of this "baby's talking" crap.
23 SFX: Whap!
ACTION: Len gives Sam a 'peeved' look. Sam uncharacteristically
sticks out his tongue.
24 AL: Keep that up Sam and they'll be desperate to get rid of you.
ACTION: Len tries to point out Sam's abuse, but Joe is getting
steamed. Al and Sam look at each other with a plan formulating.
25 SAM: Desperate to--?
26 SAM & AL: Yeahhh...
ACTION: Mary and Bruce cling to each other as LT. KATERICH, an older
paternal-looking cop, tries to take notes.
1 MARY: It was only for a second and--
2 BRUCE: How could you leave him?
3 MARY: Me? You were the one out gallivanting around.
4 KATERICH: All right. Enough. Now unless I get a full deposition,
this won't go out. Every minute here is precious time you and your
child can't afford to waste. If you love your boy, then let's work
together on this. Well?
ACTION: Mary begins sobbing on Bruce's shoulder.
5 BRUCE: He's 15 months old. Brown hair. Lopsided smile--
ACTION: Sam is smiling very mischievously and pouring juice down
Len's shirt. Len tries to grab the juice bottle with anger. Al is
6 LEN (burst): AHH! Cut it out you little monster!
7 AL: Go ahead, Sam.
ACTION: With Al's encouragement, Sam takes the cue to cry and scream
at this negative "parental" treatment.
8 SAM/SFX: WHAAAAAAA!
9 JOE: Len, make him stop. My nerves are fried.
10 LEN: Me?! I can't stand the brat.
11 JOE: And you're the one who doesn't want to give him away?
12 LEN: I'm not that heartless...even if he is a banshee!
ACTION: Joe looks back to see Sam's crying turn to fast inhales and
13 SAM: Wha. (hic) Wha. (sniff) Wha. (hic)
14 JOE: Listen. Any mother who would leave her kid doesn't deserve to
be a mother. Little squirt will be better off with parents who really
15 LEN: Maybe.
ACTION: Len looks back to see Sam sticking out his tongue. This
infuriates Len to resume the sibling argument.
16 AL: He's got a point, Sam.
17 SAM (whisper): Hic. That's not fair, Al. Leaving her kid for minute
doesn't make her a bad mother.
18 AL: Well, my experience with mothers hasn't been all that positive.
19 SAM: Mine was. And Mary isn't "bad." She just needs a little
ACTION: Another angle as the two friends talk.
20 SAM: Listen, I remember reading a short story once. An old one by
21 AL: No, you don't remember. Henry Aaron was a ballplayer. You
probably mean O. Henry.
22 SAM: Right. And it was called--uh--
23 AL: Ransom of Red Chief.
24 SAM: You read it too?
25 AL: What boy hasn't?
26 SAM: Think it'll work?
ACTION: Len and Joe are still arguing like a couple of ten year old
siblings out of control.
27 CAPTION: "Like a charm."
ACTION: The Buick quickly enters a run-down section of town. The
buildings are mostly auto body shops with car parts littering the
alleys and open lots. The car pulls up to a windowless store marked
"BIG BEN'S AUTO BODY." Dialogue comes from Joe (on the driver's side)
and Len (passenger side).
1 JOE: --I'm not backing down. This kid's a commodity.
2 LEN: It's not right.
3 JOE: And stealing cars is? After all these years you have morals?
4 LEN: I like to think of it as having a sense of decency.
5 JOE : We lost that with our first stolen candybar. The matter's
ACTION: Joe gets out of the car. Sam gives him a Stooges' poke to the
eyes. Al phases through roof of car.
6 LEN (BURST with regular balloon connected): Ah! Keep it up kid.
I'll make sure you go to a military family.
7 AL (BURST): Hey!
ACTION: Joe's almost at the door. Len is rubbing his eye as Sam
carefully extracts himself from the back seat while putting up his
hand in a mock salute.
8 AL: I'll be back as soon as we have more info. I got the street
address; should be a breeze. And you..misbehave yourself. That's
9 SAM : Aye, aye, Captain.
10 AL: That's Admiral Calavicci to you, Doctor Beckett.
ACTION: Al jabs the handlink and backs into a glowing Imaging Chamber
door. With the beginnings of a plan forming in his mind, Sam is eager to
get started. Still, the most pressing problem is one of
embarrassing proportions. He gets out of the car and, like some
decrepit cowboy, moseys over behind Len. Len holds his nose, while
his brother points.
11 LEN: =Whoowee=, Joe! You shot that bunny good.
12 JOE: Not me. It's the kid. Hold him here while I let Big Ben know
13 LEN: You telling me I have to change the little bugger?
14 JOE: If you smelt it...
ACTION: Before Len can answer, Joe goes through the door. Len is
momentarily startled a diatribe coming from a toddler.
15 SAM: Look, Len. Just find me a potty, Okay? I'll do my own changing
if you don't mind.
16 LEN: This wa...What are you? Some kind of circus midget? I mean, you're
not really one year old?
17 SAM: 15 months, actually.
18 SAM: Oh, and Len, just so we're square about this--
ACTION: Sam turns and looks menacingly in Len's eyes. This tight shot
with shadows make him look positively fiendish. Len is startled.
19 SAM: I'm going to make Dennis the Menace look like Pollyana. Your
life will be so awful, you'll wish you never woke up this morning.
ACTION: Len turns and pushes Sam on his way. Walking toward them are
two teenage girls.
20 LEN: Get going, ya Bozo.
21 SAM (to himself): Bo-Bo, Boo-Boo, now Bozo--I can't win.
(small, many balloons)
22 LEN: And none of that jabbering. If you're a midget acting like a
baby, act like one.
ACTION: Very tight shot on Sam.
23 SAM: Oh, I will.
ACTION: Sam and Len pass the girls, REBECCA and EMILY, who spot Sam
and squeal. The second teen, Emily, pinches his cheek and ruffles his
hair. Sam is amused and plays up to it. Len is getting annoyed.
Rebecca tries tickling Sam.
1 REBECCA: Oh, look Emily! He's so cute!
2 LEN: Hey! Leave him alone. He doesn't like that stuff.
3 REBECCA: What a grouch.
4 EMILY: Bye, Sweetie. See ya in fifteen years.
5 LEN: Let's go.
ACTION: Len pushes Sam again. Sam wobbles unsteadily.
6 SAM: Would you cut it out?!
7 LEN: Then move.
8 SAM: I would if there wasn't this little problem...
9 LEN: Does seem strange that a midget would--
ACTION: Tight side shot of the two walking toward a gas station.
10 SAM: I didn't.
11 LEN: What then? Something scare you?
12 SAM: Your face.
ACTION: Len grabs Sam by the suspenders and backs him up to a fence
along the sidewalk.
13 LEN: I've had just about enough.
14 SAM: Big mistake, Len. We're in a public place and you're beating
up a baby.
15 LEN: No more wisecracks then.
16 SAM: Does your brother get on your case?
17 LEN: My brother's family. You're not.
18 SAM: Are you sure he's family?
ACTION: Len releases Sam. There's a poignant look in his eyes as the
two eyeball each other
19 LEN: He's the only family around now. Terry's...Terry's back--
20 SAM: --in Iowa?
21 LEN: Yeah, she's been--hey, how'd you know that?
22 SAM: I told you--I'm your worst nightmare. I know everything.
Ever see "The Bad Seed"?
ACTION: They reach the gas station and Len opens the Men's Room door as
Sam saunters in.
1 LEN: No funny business. I'll be right here.
2 SAM: Funny business? Some fun.
ACTION: Inside the bathroom, while locking the door, Sam spies a small
window just above the toilet. NO DIALOGUE.
ACTION: Sam stands on the seat, opening the window. He starts to scramble
out. Glare from the Imaging Chamber door shines from th side of the panel.
3 AL (o.p.): Sam! Stop!
4 SFX: WHOOOOSSH!
ACTION: Sam is startled and almost falls in the bowl. Al reaches out to
help, but Sam melts right through his hands.
5 SAM (BURST): AHH!
ACTION: Sam is not a pretty sight: mad at Al, dripping wet and a sore
bottom add up to one pissed-off scientist.
6 SAM: What's your problem, Al? I'm try to get out of here. Len's outside.
Now's the perfect opportunity.
7 AL: Ziggy says if you continue this scenario, there's a 98.4 percent
chance Bobby gets away and is reunited with his parents.
8 SAM: I thought that was the point!
9 AL: But Len and Joe escape and continue kidnapping. At least twelve more
babies were sold before the Wallace Brothers were finally caught -- or
stopped, I should say.
10 SAM: What do you mean?
11 AL: There was a shoot-out. One officer, Len and Joe were killed. Two
other officers were wounded.
ACTION: Another angle. Sam starts to take off his clothes to get clean.
12 SAM: So, I have to get them to stop this nonsense?
Panel six (continued)
13 AL: You have to make sure Len and Joe are captured.
14 SAM: Might be little difficult being a baby and all.
15 AL: How's "Operation: Red Chief " working?
16 SAM: Great. Joe still thinks I'm just a baby and Len's so wound up, he's
going to bust a spring.
17 AL: Well, don't lose sight of them. You have to find a way to get them
18 SAM: Have Ziggy help figure out a fast way. I'm going to be momentarily
19 AL: You haven't changed yet?
ACTION: Sam gives him a glare and a finger of warning. Al fingers the
remote as his door reappears.
20 AL: I'm out of here.
21 SFX: VROOOOSH
22 SAM: And no jokes! If this ever got out--
23 AL: Too late. The Project's been in hysterics all morning. We thought
Gooshie was going to have an accident, he was laughing so hard. Okay! I'm
gone. "Bottoms up"!
ACTION: Sam swats the empty space, while giving his pants a mournful,
1 SAM: And I thought nude Hamlet was embarrassing.
2 LEN (from door): Would you hurry up?
3 SAM: In a minute, bub. Geeze. Yuk.
4 LEN (from door): If you're not finished in--
ACTION: Outside, Len, leaning against the door, looks at his watch. Joe
walks up, hands buried in his pockets, head down, eyes darting.
5 JOE: Who ya talkin' to?
6 LEN: The midget.
7 JOE: Midget?
8 LEN: Yeah. I figure he's some circus midget out for laughs.
9 JOE: You gone completely loony? It's a baby. You know...diapers,
10 LEN: I swear, this guy's a regular Joe.
ACTION: Joe starts knocking on Len's head.
11 JOE: Hello! Len - I'M JOE!
12 LEN: Cut it out. I'm tellin' ya... that ain't no baby.
13 JOE: I give up. Let's go. Car's inside. They're already stripping it.
ACTION: He pulls out the ten. Len's eyes light up.
14 JOE: In the mood for falafels?
15 LEN: He's going for it?
16 JOE: This is just an advance. He says the baby market could bring in
thousands of dollars. Now how do you feel about giving up the brat?
17 LEN; Good riddance.
ACTION: Sam opens the door, and saunters out. His legs are still askew, but
this time because his shorts are soaking wet and wrinkled from being rung.
Joe puts his arm around Sam.
18 SAM: Someone mention me?
19 LEN: There! There! Did you hear that?
20 JOE: Enough already, Len.
21 SAM: Da-da?
22 JOE: See? He's just a baby--your'e scaring him. Let's go. Hungry, kid?
23 SAM: 'nilna
24 JOE: Hear that? He wants vanilla ice cream.
25 LEN: All I heard was "kill ya."
ACTION: Joe takes Sam by the hand, Len reluctantly takes the other. Sam
squeezes the heck out of Len's fingers.
26 JOE: Cool it, Len. Grab his other hand while we cross the street.
27 LEN: Ahhh! Little devil's fingers are like a vise.
28 JOE: Next you'll be telling me he quotes Shakespeare. C'mon.
29 SAM: Pity, like a naked new born babe striding the blast. I have no spur
to prick the sides of my intent, but only vaulting ambition, which o'er
leaps itself, and falls on the other.
30 LEN: I'll give you a spur!
ACTION: Len can't stand it and tries to take a shoe to Sam's bottom. He
misses and accidently hits both Sam and Len.
ACTION: Joe glares at Len. Sam silently laughs, his mouth in a side-smile.
Len is resolved to his fate.
31 JOE: You jerk! You trying to get us caught?
32 JOE: Take the kid back to Big Ben's. I'll get the food and meet you
33 LEN: Please don't make me take the kid, Joe. He's evil. I swear it!
34 JOE (small wavy balloon): I don't have time for this crap.
ACTION: As if Sam were made of pure electricity, Len grabs Sam by the
suspenders and steers him back to the auto body shop. Joe heads across the
street for fast food.
ACTION: Len's eyes suddenly widen at something heading toward him
ACTION: He pulls Sam roughly behind a dumpster in the parking lot, his hand
clamping Sam's mouth shut.
1 LEN (whisper): One word, one squirm, I'll blow your damn brains out.
ACTION: Sam realizes Len has pulled a gun to his temple. Len peeks from
behind, and we see a patrol car drive by. Sam's shoulders slump - his
chance to get the two nabbed is driving away. Len's shoulders heave in
panic. Katerich is driving. Behind him, we can see Bruce and Mary. All
three are scanning the roads.
2 KATRICH: --because you left the keys in the ignition.
ACTION: From inside the patrol car, Bruce gives his wife a sour look. She
3 MARY: I may have left Bobby, but you're the one who forgot the keys.
4 BRUCE: Why do you think I took so long getting back--.?
5 KATERICH: As I was saying--it's a safe bet this wasn't intended as a
6 MARY: They didn't want Bobby?
7 KATERICH: I don't think he was part of the plan. They were probably just
going for the car. These auto body shops are notorious for fast work. If
you see the same car model, but different car color, let me know.
ACTION: Another angle on Katerich, Mary and Bruce. The parents are feeling
the strain of the past hours.
8 MARY: What are our chances of finding Bobby?
9 KATERICH: The longer it takes, the greater the odds get--against us.
10 BRUCE: Maybe we should split up.
11 KATERICH: I don't think your wife's in any shape and we do have a
sizable task force on the look out. Plus we got his picture to the local
12 MARY: Wherever he is - I hope they're taking care of him.
13 BRUCE: So do I.
ACTION: Left inset panel. Al is conferring with Gooshie and Ziggy in the
1 CAPTION: Stallion's Gate, New Mexico -- September 9, 1999.
2 AL: --so, even if he gets them captured everyone still dies?
3 ZIGGY (electronic): Unable to accurately project. There is a flux in the
4 AL: Hypothesize.
ZIGGY (electronic): At present, I am more concerned with Doctor Alisee than
AL: Donna? Where is she?
GOOSHIE: She's been in the Waiting Room since you left.
ACTION: Right inset panel. Al starts heading for a hallway. Gooshie
follows. There is a ripple of red in Ziggy's blue glow.
AL: I'll be right back.
GOOSHIE: I'm coming with you.
ACTION: Semi-splash panel. Al's demeanor is tight and concerned as he
stops in front of a door labeled "WAITING ROOM" and places his palm on a
side panel. The door is open. Gooshie runs up behind him. Over Al's
shoulder, we see a bare, white room with one blue wall. A lone figure sits
in a rocking chair holding a small child. It's Donna and Bobby. She rocks
back and forth, but at an angle where she can't see Al standing at the
door. Bobby sucks his thumb and clings to a lock of her hair. Donna
methodically rubs his back and hums softly. Al is momentarily mesmerized
by this "Madonna and Child" sight and takes a weary breath.
GOOSHIE: She won't let anyone else hold him.
AL: Think she's getting maternal?
GOOSHIE: Or lonely.
AL: I wish we could bring him back--
ACTION: Close on Donna and the child. Her eyes are closed as she continues
AL (off panel): --if for no one else, but her.
GOOSHIE (off panel): You have to admit--
ACTION: Refocus past Donna and the baby to the mirror behind them. We see
the back of Donna's head, the rocking chair and Sam, sucking his thumb,
peacefully sleeping on his wife's shoulder. It's all at once sad, silly,
16 CAPTION: "--it's a funny sight, though."
ACTION: Still on Sam's boyish face, but he's sleeping on a sofa.
BIG BEN (off panel): I've called the brokers. They'll be here soon.
ACTION: Establishing panel. Big Ben, Len, Joe and Sam are in the front
office of Big Ben's Auto Body. The remnants of their pig-out strewn around
them. Sam's half eaten falafel in bite-size pieces, occupies a good
portion of the table.
JOE: So, Ben. We need to work out the terms for this deal--
LEN: Have you dealt with them before?
BIG BEN: I got them through a contact.
JOE: You haven't done this before?
BIG BEN: I trust my contact.
LEN: At this point, the sooner he's gone, the better.
JOE: I thought he took a shine to you.
LEN: More like a shiner.
ACTION: They all walk out of the front room headed for the back. Al appears
through the Imaging Chamber door, and next to the couch. He's keying in
figures and initially doesn't see Sam.
AL: Sam, Ziggy's calculations say-- No time for naps!
SAM: I'm not asleep.
AL: Oh. Well, Ziggy says you can't just wait around. You get handed over to
some cheesy baby brokers.
ACTION: Another angle on Al and Sam.
AL: It's worse then we feared. Bobby isn't sold into adoption. He becomes
part of some deviant porn ring.
SAM: How come Ziggy just found out?
AL: With Bobby in the waiting room, we were able to do a DNA typing. Ziggy
ran it through John Doe composites - bingo. In 1973, an unidentifiable,
twelve year old boy's nude body was found near the California/Oregon
SAM: When does Bobby get--involved?
AL: We can't tell. For some reason the timeline keeps changing. But once
those brokers get a hold of you, I mean Bobby, that's it.
ACTION: Another angle.
SAM: Al, they're supposed to be here any minute.
AL: This is getting more complicated every minute. Listen, there's a gun
Ben keeps in the top drawer of this table.
SAM: But I can't get it right now.
AL: Oh yeah - Len. Well you better do something!
SAM: The sad part is, I don't think Len and Joe or even Big Ben know the
extent of this baby racket. My problem is figuring out who to get
captured. If I after Len and Joe, then those brokers, who are ten times
worse, will get away.
AL: Some choice.
AL: You got a plan?
SAM: More like a chance once the brokers show up.
ACTION: Back in the patrol car, Katerich, Bruce and Mary are still
searching: Mary's mascara is running. Bruce is sullen. Katerich is yakking
KATERICH: So my littlest one decides the cat needs a bath--
DISPATCHER (v.o.): All units in the vicinity of Highland and King, report
to Frank's Service Station for possible kidnapping. This is a Code Two.
Repeat: Code Two. One-Adam-Five, one-adam-five.
ACTION: Katerich picks up the hand-mike. The parents behind him are
KATERICH: This is one-adam-five, over.
DISPATCHER: A call came through - a lead to the Levitz kidnapping. Report
with other units to Frank's Service Station. This is a Code Two.
KATERICH: Here it is. You two stay put.
ACTION: Katerich pulls in. Three police cars are parked at the station.
Several officers are interviewing Frank, the service attendant. Still
wiping his hand on a grease rag, he points in the direction of Big Ben's
ACTION: Big Ben, a slight man hardly a personification of his name,
addresses the two brokers, who are dressed immaculately. MIRIAM, a tall,
cold woman, wears a business outfit, complete with scarf. STEVE has the
same apathetic look. They speak in patronizing, velvet tones.
BIG BEN: What took you guys so long? I placed the call hours ago.
MIRIAM: Stan only called us a few minutes ago. This is Steve. I'm Miriam.
And this must be the little baby. Hey cutie!
STEVE: Not now, Miriam. We have to get going.
ACTION: Another angle. Miriam is messing Sam's hair.
MIRIAM: But he's so adorable.
STEVE: Is there a room we could use for a moment? We'd like to look at the
child alone for a moment.
ACTION: Sam is chilled by this comment. Len looks at Sam with regret. Even
Joe is taken aback. The imaging chamber door chimes and Al enters. He
apprises the situation immediately. Miriam hands him a Tootsie Pop.
BIG BEN: Now, Joe. It's standard procedure. You know - check out the goods
AL: Sam. Geeze Louise, I leave you alone for a moment-- Hey, get your paws
off him you nozzle!
ACTION: Miriam has taken Sam's face in her hands, stroking his cheek.
Steve talks to Ben.
STEVE: What's his name?
MIRIAM: What's your name, Honey?
SAM: None of your business.
MIRIAM: My, you're talkative for a baby.
ACTION: Sam talks to Al. Miriam stands up and takes Sam by the hand.
SAM: What am I suppose to do now?
MIRIAM: Come with us, sweetheart.
AL: I thought you had a plan? Well, Ziggy says you better take care of this
situation fast, or Bobby and everyone here is in deep shinola.
ACTION: Sam takes her hand and looks back at the Wallace brothers. His
betrayed look is not lost on Len and Joe. They walk into Big Ben's office.
ACTION: The door closes behind them leaving Joe, Len and Ben. Len sits on
the sofa running his fingers through his hair. He looks distressed. Joe
digs his hands in his pockets, tense. Ben sits in the front office chair,
feet up on the desk.
LEN: I don't like it.
JOE: Think of Terry.
LEN: I do. All the time.
JOE: Look, a few of these and we'll be on easy street.
LEN: At whose expense?
BEN: Who cares? The money's terrific.
ACTION: Len and Joe look at the tiny man with contempt. They finally
realize how stupid the whole set-up was.
ACTION: Sam sits in an oversized chair, giving him the allusion of
AL: Ziggy says you must have really changed something because everybody
dies, including the brokers. In the shootout, Bobby is caught by friendly
MIRIAM: Please what, Honey?
ACTION: He holds up his 'pop in Miriam's face.
MIRIAM: Sure, Sweetie.
ACTION: She unwraps the cover and gives it back. When Steve locks the
door, the click startles Sam slightly.
AL: Then how do they find you? Oh, did you meet two teenage girls named
Rebecca and Emily? They saw Bobby's picture on TV and called the police.
I think you should get the hell out of here now. The scenario keeps
changing for the worse!
ACTION: Miriam and Steve discuss the situation out Sam's ear-shot.
SAM: When do the police get here?
AL: They're surrounding the building right now.
MIRIAM: Can we trust this Ben?
STEVE: Stan says he's hot-air from a hamster.
MIRIAM: I love it when you talk like an animal.
ACTION: She seductively walks over to Sam and starts playing with his
MIRIAM: What a beautiful boy you are. You're going to be a lady-killer in a
ACTION: In one beat, Sam stands up to his full height and grabs her by
the neck. Her eyes widen at the string of words out of his mouth--.don't
forget the lollipop is still sticking out the side of his mouth.
SAM: No, you're the killer and one trashy piece of filth. Low-life scum
like you should be--
AL: Take it easy, Sam.
AL: Watch out - you forgot--!
ACTION: Steve, alarmed at what's transpiring, grabs Sam's shoulders. A
LEAP EFFECT BEGINS UP STEVE'S AND SAM'S ARM!
ACTION: Splash panel. Before Sam realizes who "Steve" really is, he
applies his traditional round-house kick. Steve falls in a heap against a
wall- out like a light and in the form of THE EVIL LEAPER - ALIA! (see
photo reference) In a faint reflection off the glass window to the front
office, we see BOBBY in mid air applying the kick, and STEVE's body
deflected to the wall
AL: It's her!
ACTION: Inset panel bottom right, Sam kneels next to Alia's unconscious
form, lifting her chin with his finger. Al is nearby keying in the
handlink. Behind them both is Miriam. The ends of her scarf are in her
fists and she sneaking up behind him.
SAM: She's unconscious. Now we'll never get answers.
AL: Never say never.
ACTION: Back to Miriam who is shocked (like everyone else) by Sam's
speech, fighting tactics, et. al. Her fists, with the scarf, are down.
MIRIAM: Who the hell are you?
SAM & AL: Your worst nightmare.
ACTION: Miriam starts to scream in fright, unable to overcome Sam's
strength. Sam takes his Tootsie Pop and plops it into her mouth, gagging
the shrill noise emanating from her throat.
AL: Gag her with a lolly? Sam! It's still wet. Yuk!
SAM: Babies are a messy business, Al. Miriam knows that. Don't you,
ACTION: Sam has grabbed a part of the scarf and ties up her hands. She
stares bug-eyed at him. From the door, we hear the men trying to break it
SFX: (pounding sound)
LEN: Hey Kid! You all right?!
AL: Sam you better get her tied good, those guys will be in here any
SAM: What does Ziggy say about the outcome?
AL: Better odds now that your evil twin there--.HEY SAM! Look!
ACTION: Alia, thrust into a leap out, awakens with a scream from the
pain. Sam and Al can only look in horror as she contorts into a hideous
version of the leap.
ACTION: Close on Sam.
SAM: I wish there was something we could do for her. It seems horribly
AL: Maybe she wants it that way.
SAM: I don't think so.
ACTION: Full shot of the room. The door is almost smashed open. With Alia
gone, Steve is back in a comatose body.
AL: Wait, Ziggy says there's still a probability you die!
AL: Gun shot wounds.
SAM: From the police?
AL: No. Now it's Big Ben who pulls the trigger.
ACTION: Close on Sam looking at the table.
SAM: The gun!
ACTION: Big Ben, Joe and Len's faces are stunned. From their POV through
the door, we see Sam sitting on the floor in a lotus position sucking his
thumb. He points to the couple.
BIG BEN: What is he? Baby Hercules?
LEN: Not far off the mark.
ACTION: Sam stands up. Big Ben and Joe are amazed and open mouthed,
pointing to Sam and looking to Len for an explanation.
SAM: Alright you guys, here's the deal.
LEN: I told you he wasn't a baby.
SAM: The place is surrounded by black & whites, see. And unless you turn
yourselves over to this baby-faced copper, you'll not see the light of day.
BIG BEN: And now he's Humphrey Bogart?
AL: Actually, he once leaped into--
ACTION: Another angle
SAM: Seriously, I don't know who Terry is, but Len if you don't turn
yourself in now, you'll never see her again. All of you die.
AL: Terry's Len's daughter.
LEN: Terry's my daughter.
SAM: Len, you're a father. How could you even think of going through this.
LEN: Joe, let's give it up. We're in this too deep.
JOE : I think you're right.
ACTION: In a panic, Ben heads for the desk, and starts searching for the
gun. He looks up, puzzled--
ACTION: Sam has the gun leveled at him, then points to a bound Miriam and
BIG BEN: Well, I ain't takin' no orders from a punk kid.
SAM: Look around you, dim-wit. They didn't do this by themselves.
AL: Sam, do some of your Carnac impersonations.
AL: In a few seconds the cops are going to bull-horn their way into your
SAM: In just a moment, listen. The cops will start talking.
KATERICH (v.o.):This is the police. We have the place surrounded--.
LEN: See, I told you . He knows the future.
BIG BEN: Shut up!
JOE: No, you shut up. I'd rather live in prison for a few years than die
for a stupid mistake.
AL: That a boy!
ACTION: Outside the Auto Body, Big Ben walks out with his hands over his
head followed by Joe and Len. Police surround the building. Katerich, Mary
and Bruce are--like every one else----stunned.
KATERICH: In my fifteen years of service, I've never seen anything like
MARY & BRUCE: Bobby?
ACTION: Sam's holding the gun and trailing the little band of crooks. The
police run to seize the men.
ACTION: Mary runs to 'scoop' Bobby in her arms, oblivious to the gun. She
smothers him with kisses. Sam's lopsided grin gets his holographic friend
MARY: Oh, baby. Mommy's so sorry!
AL: You did again, Sam. Len, Joe and Ben get prison, but Len is out in just
a year. He uses his time to--
AL: Study law. He's a defense lawyer back in Iowa.
SAM: A lawyer?
AL: His daughter, Terry, had been left with relatives but was then shuffled
between foster homes. Now she's happily married and has a career in--of
course, law with her dad. By the by, you'll love the tabloids.
AL: Ben couldn't keep his mouth shut and Bobby is headlined as an alien
baby who "Captures Crooks with Karate, Knows Future."
ACTION: Sam turns to see the hand-cuffed gang of three stuffed into the
back of a patrol car. Mary continues to smother Sam in her bosom while,
Katerich and Bruce are speechless - drop-jawed.
SAM (a la Bogie): See ya in eight to ten boys.
AL: Stuns 'em every time.
ACTION: Sam and Mary are eye-ball to eye-ball again.
ACTION: Though the men are still speechless, Mary just chalks it up to
hearing voices again. Sam hands her the gun.
MARY: Thanks, Sweetie. Here, Pete.
ACTION: Without looking, Mary hands the gun to an open mouthed Katerich.
While she turns Sam around.
MARY: Now lets check your diapers, young man.
ACTION: With panic in his eyes, Sam starts backing away from her searching
fingers. Fortunately for our hero, the bottom half of Sam is in Leap
SAM: Oh, no! AAAALLLL!!!
ACTION: Back at the room with Donna. The form she's holding which contained
little Bobby, is now in a leap effect. Sam still has his thumb in his
mouth. NO DIALOGUE.
ACTION: Tight on Donna as a single tear rolls down her cheek.
ACTION: Sam and Bobby are no longer there. The body is comatose during this
in-between leap stage. The thumb has fallen from the mouth. Behind her we
see the door is open and a young 32 year old woman standing in the frame.
She is a brunette with long tresses pulled back in a band. She wears a lab
coat. There are slight wisps of a white streak in her pulled-back bangs.
ACTION: Donna is clutching Sam's body tight. The woman puts her hand on
Donna's shoulder and bends in.
SAMMY-JO: Dr. Alysi? We must put Dr. Beckett's body back in prep.
DONNA: He's gone again.
SAMMY-JO: I know. This must be hard for you, but I promise we'll get him
ACTION: The two woman look at each other. Profile shot.
DONNA: I know you will, Dr. Fuller. I know you will.
ACTION: The final shot is a close on Al, who is now in the doorway. He
looks pained, knowing but unable to speak. Knowing Dr. Sammy-Jo Fuller is
Sam's daughter. Knowing that Dr. Donna Alysi is Sam's wife. And knowing he
can't tell either of them.
An alternate ending to this was to have Sam/Bobby leap out and
in his place would be nothing. If we take the opening lines
literally - his body "vanished" when he stepped into the
accelerator and would continue to do so between subsequent
leaps. Any opinions either way? Let me know. And thanks for