From: geiger@niktow.canisius.edu (Tucson Al)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.mst3k,alt.ql.creative
Subject: "A Not Too Distant Future : Part V"
Message-Id: <2813@niktow.canisius.edu>
Date: 28 Jun 93 10:43:05 GMT
Followup-To: poster
Organization: Canisius College, Buffalo NY. 14208
Lines: 102
Xref: cronkite.cisco.com alt.tv.mst3k:4672 alt.ql.creative:499

Here's part V!


		"A Not Too Distant Future : Part V"

	Sam, Tom, and Crow are still watching the movie in the theater.  A
more-or-less human sized T. Rex is terrorizing Raquel Welsh's village.  Tumak
goes out and starts fighting it with a long tree limb.
	"Hey, guys, look at the size of Tumak's log!"
	"Tom," said Sam warningly.
	"Okay, okay.  Geez."
	"I wouldn't touch that dinosaur with a 10-foot pole," said Crow.
	"Yeah, but he would," said Tom, as Tumak jabbed his tree limb at the
T. Rex.
	After much parrying and thrusting, Tumak succeeds in stabbing the 
dinosaur through the, uh, let's just say "nether-regions."
	Sam, Crow, and Tom recoil with gasps of mock pain.
	"Ouch.  That hadda hurt!" said Tom in sympathy.
	Tumak gets his spear and uses it to pin the T. Rex's neck to the ground
until it dies.  He pulls the spear out.
	Later, Tumak and his Aryan friends are near a beach, and some of them
are swimming.  Tumak goes into the water tentatively.
	"Hey, there's a warm spot here!" complained Crow.
	Tumak gets out of the water and a large Pteranodon begins pestering the
group.  It makes repeated dives at them and finally succeeds in grabbing Raquel
in it's foot.
	"Look - it's Prehistoric Airlines.  Fly the hungry skies," said Tom.
	"Joel, why do they say Teranodon when it's spell P-teranodon?" asked
Crow.
	"Well, that's because the P is silent," explained Sam.
	"Oh," considered Crow.  "Then why use it at all, if it doesn't make
any difference?"
	"I don't know," said Sam exasperatedly.  "Just watch the movie."
	The Pteranodon was about to lower Raquel into its nest to feed her
hatchlings, when a Pterodactyl flies by and starts fighting the Pteranodon.
The Pteranodon wheels out over the water and finally drops Raquel.
	"Look.  Live, from Costa Rica.  It's women's foot diving," said Tom.
	Raquel is rescued and the tribe sets off for healthier climes.

	The scene switches yet again, this time to the cave of the Rock people.
	"Meanwhile, in slovenly central..." said Tom.
	A strange rattling sound is heard and a familiar, if dirty, face is
seen.  It's the king.  He is alive, if a little crazed.
	"I told you I wasn't dead, yet," said Crow.
	"Hey, isn't he just a little insane.  Look at his eyes," said Sam.
	"Well, wouldn't you be a bit off if your eldest son had just kicked
you off a cliff to your death?" asked Tom.
	"Okay.  I see your point," said Sam.

	The scene switches yet again to show the Rock people and Shell people
engaged in an epic battle.  The Shell people are clearly winning, but they
are taking heavy losses.
	"Look!  It's World War II.  And the Nazis are winning!" said Crow.
	Tumak wrestles a Rock tribesman to the ground.
	"Oooh, I feel all itchy now.  I touched Tumak," said Tom.
	"I think you mean sumac, Tom," corrected Sam.
	"Oh, yeah.  Right."
	"You know, Joel, I have one problem with this film," said Crow.
	"And what's that, Crow," asked Sam.
	"Well, wouldn't it have made more sense to have Raq-uel Welsh be a
member of the Rock tribe?  And why are there no subtitles?  I thought this
movie was supposed to be American made, so why don't they speak American?"
	"Crow, you said one question," said Sam.  "Now, I don't have any answers
to any of your questions, but maybe you can answer one of mine."
	"Okay, shoot," said Crow.
	"Why does it seem that some of the scenes were missing from this movie
and some were out of order?" asked Sam.
	"Well, uh, it's not my fault.  I mean, I didn't accidentally hit the
scrambler unit on the comm relay when I called 1-900-HOT-BOTS.  There's no way
I would ever do anything like that."
	"There isn't, huh?" said Sam.  "Well maybe I'll have to punish you by-"
	"Make him clean the load pan bay all by himself, Joel," urged Tom.
	"No, not that.  Anything but that," pleaded Crow.
	"That's just what you're going to do, Crow.  And you're going to enjoy
yourself while you do it," instructed Sam.
	The credits were already half-over by the time they left the theater.
	
	They were all back in the control room when the red light started
flashing.  Sam was about to hit it when Crow, in his best Daffy Duck voice,
warned, "No!  Not the red one!  Don't ever push the red one."
	Sam hit it anyway.  The viewscreen activated to show the mad scientists.
They didn't look happy at all.
	"Alright, Joel.  You may have totally invalidated this experiment with
your self-proclaimed jocularity, but I've got you now.  It's time for the
invention exchange and that means that I'll win," gloated Dr. Forrester.
	Frank threw back his head and laughed evilly.  When he saw that
Dr. F wasn't laughing he stopped, flushing with embarrassment.
	"Go for it!" yelled Crow.
	"Yeah, we can take it!" said Tom.
	"I wouldn't be too sure, but I'll let you go first anyways.  I can at
least be gracious in my evil geniusness," said Dr. F.
	"Alright, here goes nothing," said Sam as the robots wheeled out a large
round platform connected to a control pedestal.  It was a scaled down version
of the Quantum Leap Accelerator.
	"Oh boy," said Sam weakly.

Coming soon: Part VI...

		-- Doug
			"A spider?!?  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"
				geiger@niktow.cs.canisius.edu