--------------- From: dreamer@netcom.com (Robin E. Baylor) Date: Sun, 9 Jan 1994 00:23:03 GMT Just to keep the traffic going, What if we start a string of good intro lines. (i.e. "Your name is Marty McFly and . . . Hey! This says you were born in 1969, but it's 1955") This could be fun for most of the readers of this group, and much easier than coming up with a whole story. Any Takers? Robin. --------------- From: u2nmh@csc.liv.ac.uk (N.M. Humphries) Date: Mon, 10 Jan 1994 13:39:58 GMT One of my favourite one liners was in an episode where Al was being sued by one of his ex-wifes for extra payments. It was all solved because : "We examined each other's breifs and left it at that." --------------- Date: Thu, 13 Jan 94 16:10:04 CST From: "roberta chi-woon kwong" "Okay, Sam, you're in a rock group with these three other guys, and in a minute silly music's gonna start playing and you have to do this goofy surreal chase scene..." "Uh, Sam, the guy in the Waiting Room keeps complaining of the pain in all his diodes down his left side." "Hmm...Ziggy says you have to slap that flashing button and then run screaming into the theater..." "All we can figure, Sam, is that you're involved in a game called 'Party Quirks.'" "Your name's Bill, you're a member of a heavy metal band, and you're supposed to...play your tongue?!" "Hey, Sam, it says here you're a successful 45-year-old anchorwoman on a show called 'FYI.' Hold on, Ziggy's going on about some guy who's in your office using your phone without permission..." --------------- From: I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk (MAD Mosher) Date: Fri, 14 Jan 1994 02:45:08 GMT "Well, Sam. You're name is Todd Hunter, it's June 12th 1992 and in case you hadn't guessed...this is a hospital. Watch what you're doing with that scalpel!" "No Sam!! Don't cut the blue wire! Oh no..." "Ziggy says the reason you can't see anything is you're some kind of artificial intelligence. Something to do with a Quantar....Quantum Leap...project...." --------------- From: drenze@icaen.uiowa.edu (Douglas J Renze) Date: Sun, 16 Jan 1994 14:41:17 GMT "Sam, Ziggy says your name is Chris...*whack-zrpBZZ*...Christa McAuliffe and you're gonna be the...what're you doing, Sam? Sam, I wouldn't touch that... don't touch...NOT THE RED BUTTO--" "Ziggy's not making any sense, Sam. Something about beer, peanuts, and a Vogon Constructor Fleet." "This is weird, Sam. There's this guy in the waiting room who claims he's God and...say, what's all this pearly-white fog? I've never seen it that color before." --------------- From: lds@netcom.com Date: Wed, 19 Jan 1994 07:10:15 GMT Al: Okay Sam, Ziggy says you're the head of NBC and you're here to prevent some show from being taken off the air. or Ok, Ziggy says that your name is John Bobbitt and ..... --------------- From: Aaron Thomas Date: Thu, 20 Jan 1994 00:07:02 EST Hope I don't offend anyone with this but, ;) "Sam! I don't care what he says! Spell it P-O-T-A-T-O!" "It's 1969, you're some rock-and-roller with all these pieces of songs - kind of like you're swiss-cheesed memory. ANYway, Ziggy says there's a 94% chance you're supposed to make it into a hit album. Oh yeah, and something about a monk's home? and a road?" "You're a reporter, and you have to become friends with the star of the show, a Merv Brown?" Anyone make a story out of one of these last two? --------------- Date: Fri, 28 Jan 94 15:37:55 CST From: "roberta chi-woon kwong" A couple more off the top of my head... "Sam...uh...your shoe's ringing..." "Okay, Sam. See that rubber ball there? Yeah. Well, Ziggy says whatever you do, do not taunt it." "Ziggy says he's come up with a new strategy...'Let the Wookie win'...?" "Hmm...seems the woman in the Waiting Room is also involved in some top-secret research project or something. Ziggy says you have to watch out for that partner of hers, though. Guy claims he's invented a--get this!--a transporter..." --------------- From: Aaron Thomas Date: Sat, 29 Jan 1994 03:16:26 EST Excuse me, but does anyone know what that last quote was about in Ms. Kwong's post? BTW, two more from yours truly: "Ziggy says there's a 84% chance that you're here to ... do the same thing you do every night - try to take over the world!?!?" (couldn't resist ;) "Sam, you're part of an government experiment gone wrong, and you must bring these two guys back to their own time via some "time tunnel" device. You can't actually go after them, because they are not bound by the laws of physics as we know them - they can go back to any time and they always wear these Ivy League sweaters that even ancient Romans don't recognize as unusual." "Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to save some US govt. official's daughter from the clutches of a Latin American dictator. Ziggy says forget it and go to Vegas." Aaron ("Sam, just say, 'Where the hell are the singing cats?'") Thomas --------------- From: lola@dandelion.com Date: 1 Feb 94 02:35:05 GMT Sam, Ziggy says you're not stupid, you're not expendable and you're not going. Oh...too late. --------------- Date: Wed, 2 Feb 94 15:55:12 CST From: "roberta chi-woon kwong" (Adam Thomas) writes: >Excuse me, but does anyone know what that last quote was about in Ms. Kwong's >post? Well, I was wondering if someone else was going to answer this, but since no one has, it appears as if either I didn't write it clearly enough or else it was too obscure. It was a reference to the TV pilot that Scott Bakula did in 1988(?) called "Inflitrator"--in which he played a scientist who invents a transporter, but then much to the dismay of his colleague, he... well, I shouldn't give it away :-) "Singing cats," eh? I like that one... "Well, Sam...I think Ziggy's just stumped for a solution to this whole thing with the Queen and her consort and all. The guy in the Waiting Room, though, keeps insisting that he has a cunning plan..." --------------- From: marshall@exg106.rh.psu.edu (Marshall Maresca) Date: 3 Feb 1994 03:59:14 GMT "Sam, Ziggy's a mess. All he'll say is that it's something to do with the father of the guy you leaped into, and that something is rotten in Denmark." --------------- From: Aaron Thomas Date: Thu, 3 Feb 1994 01:24:27 EST "Ziggy says that you have until midnight to get this couple together. It's like a fairy tale, Sam - she's from a poor family, and he's royalty..." --------------- From: lola@dandelion.com Date: Fri, 4 Feb 94 06:56:02 GMT Sam...Oh wow, Sam, get a load of those ears. Sam, the guy in the waiting room is making me crazy! All he keeps saying is, "fascinating." --------------- From: mzion@saucer.cc.umr.edu (Matthew Zion) Date: Fri, 4 Feb 1994 03:20:55 GMT ADT105@psuvm.psu.edu wrote: : "Ziggy says there's a 84% chance that you're here to ... do the same thing : you do every night - try to take over the world!?!?" (couldn't resist ;) : Aaron ("Sam, just say, 'Where the hell are the singing cats?'") Thomas Aaron-- Nice "Pinky and the Brain" leap! My ideal switch for P&B is to have them as the mad scientists in MST3K... just because I want to hear Brain say, "Push the button, Pinky!" As for QL one-liners.... "Sam, Ziggy says your name is Richard Kimble, you're a doctor, and you have to run _that_ way...." "Let's see.... Your name is Inigo Montoya, and in the original history, you spent your life looking for the six-fingered killer of your father...." "Uh, Sam, there's a smarmy teenager in the Waiting Room who keeps trying to offer us Mentos... and I think you'd better get out of this guy's back- seat before he calls the cops on that cell-phone!" "Ziggy says that you're here to cut in on stupid commercials banging that drum that's attached to your cute little bunny tummy." "Well, Ziggy says that kid is your sidekick, and you're supposed to use that pocket watch thingy and fix things in the past.... Hey! You'd better hurry, Sam! The handlink and that Omni-thing are mad at each other." "Sam, your two weapons are fear and surprise, surprise and fear, fear, surprise and ruthless efficiency, um, your three weapons...." --------------- From: Tracy E. Finifter Date: Fri, 4 Feb 94 11:55:41 EST "Hmm, Sam, Ziggy's not quite sure about who this guy is... Can't seem to find any birth records on him... 'In the end there could be only one'?!" --------------- From: drenze@icaen.uiowa.edu (Douglas J Renze) Date: Fri, 4 Feb 1994 15:26:39 GMT "Ziggy says your name is Bill Ga *slapSKWONK!* Gates and you've got to... aw geez, Sam, you've been some real losers in your time but this guy is a real geek!" "Hey...nice plane, Sam. OK, Ziggy says you're President Gerald Ford and... see those stairs out there? There's a 94% chance you're here to *avoid* falling down them." "You wouldn't believe whose in the Waiting Room, Sam! Ziggy says it's President R--duck!" --------------- From: Greg_Tufaro@bunter.dartmouth.edu (Greg) Date: Fri, 4 Feb 1994 14:20:42 GMT I'll give it a shot: "Ziggy says you're a.... Bueller.... Ferris Bueller, and you have to.... take the day off from school." "I don't know where this is supposed to be, Sam, but Ziggy says you're name is Link and you you have to rescue somebody named Zelda." "Sam, you're here to.... wait, this can't be. Ziggy says you are here to defend a... Tanya Harding." :) --------------- From: ac961@dayton.wright.edu (Cheryl A. Bellucci) Date: Fri, 4 Feb 94 17:54:41 -0500 "Oh, Sam, Ziggy says you're a taxidermist named Norman -- no, wait, the taxidermy is a hobby. You really own this place called 'Bates Motel'." (Okay, so maybe it isn't funny to you. Personally, I'm laughing outloud!) --------------- From: mre@christa.unh.edu (Mike 'Ergh' Escutia) Date: 4 Feb 1994 19:18:35 GMT Is anybody keeping a compilation of all of these one liners? --Mike...can't think of any right. :( --------------- From: lds@netcom.com Date: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 00:30:19 GMT In that vein (Pun intended) "OK Sam, Ziggy says your some guy named Jason, and... Sam what are you doing with that chainsaw....SAM!!!!" --------------- From: drenze@icaen.uiowa.edu (Douglas J Renze) Date: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 05:04:21 GMT "Sam, there's a guy named Jack Barron in the waiting room. Anyway, Ziggy says he's getting really bugged..." (OK, so you have to like classic SF to appreciate this one). "Wow! Sam you'd never guess who we've got in the waiting room! It's Reverend Jim Jones and...Sam, put the Kool-Aid--I know you're thirsty but--Sam DON'T DRINK THE KOOL-AID!" "Sam, you're in this British band with three other guys and Ziggy says some- thing about a 97% chance you're here to...find out who the walrus is?" "Sheesh! It took forever to find you, Sam. You're in this little bar some- where in Suffolk County, Long Island...the big guy over there is the owner and Ziggy says something about you being here to...meet a time-traveller?" --------------- From: Tracy E. Finifter Date: Sat, 5 Feb 94 1:50:50 EST "Let's see, Sam. You're name is Merv... no, Marv Levy and you're here to see that your team doesn't lose the SuperBowl *five* times in a row..." "Okay, Sam, you're a world class figure skater with a shot at an Olympic gold medal... Look out behind you!" --------------- From: cluac@csv.warwick.ac.uk (D S Bevan) Date: 5 Feb 1994 14:29:56 -0000 "Uh Sam Ziggy says you're a failing actor in a large suit and there's a 97% chance you're here to go Blobby,Blobby,Blobby...." --------------- From: lds@netcom.com Date: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 21:45:01 GMT "Uh Sam... I don't know how to tell you this, but... Uh... Ziggy says that your something called the internet and now she won't talk to anybody. Gooshie says it's because she can't even begin to figure out how to put right what once went wrong" --------------- From: spross@mtu.edu (Steven P. Ross) Date: 6 Feb 1994 17:39:59 -0500 "Sam, Ziggy says your name is Lorena and you're here to (SLAP) ... Oh Boy!) --------------- From: Greetings from the North Pole! <2EI5ZEMANP@vms.csd.mu.edu> Date: Sun, 06 Feb 1994 17:24:47 -0600 (CST) "Sam, uh, we're not sure why you Leaped in, but for right now, don't drop your sneaker when you toss it from one hand to the other." "Sam, your name is Arthur and apparently you're upset over the Earth being demolished by the Bogons or something like that...." --------------- From: mre@christa.unh.edu (Mike 'Ergh' Escutia) Date: 7 Feb 1994 00:16:47 GMT "Your name is Clark Kent, you're a reporter for the Daily Planet, and...uh, Sam, what are you wearing?" "Okay, Sam, you're a bounty hunter named Brisco County, Jr..." "Sam, Ziggy says your name is Jessica Fletcher, and you have to solve this murder...and then write a novel about it?" "Get this, Sam: The guy in the waiting room just collapsed into a puddle!" "Sam, Ziggy says your name is D'Artagnon and that you have to duel these three...musketeers?" "Ziggy says your name is Cliff Secord, you're a stunt pilot, and...SAM! Don't touch that button! No, no, the one by your hand! DON'T touch...oh, too late." "Your name is Bruce Wayne, and you have to go out tonight...dressed as a giant bat?!?" --------------- From: lola@dandelion.com Date: Mon, 7 Feb 94 07:43:37 GMT "Sam? Where are you Sam? What are you doing in this phone booth? Wow, it's sure bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!" --------------- From: I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk (MAD Mosher) Date: Mon, 7 Feb 1994 14:20:26 GMT "Nice hair, Sam. I think something's wrong with Ziggy. (S)He says your name is Vivyan Bas..(smeck, weep! Gurgle)Basterd and you have to destroy this house before the council do it for you..." --------------- From: csuos@csv.warwick.ac.uk (Mr M J Badham) Date: 8 Feb 1994 13:22:17 -0000 "Sam apparently you're in the car repair buisness and all Ziggy can tell us is that you're a very nice man, a very very nice man, a very very very nice man..." "I dont know who it is in the waiting room, but he's completely re-programmed Ziggy, cured Gushies bad breath and he's now teaching Tina how to play the piano, What a guy....." "Sam you're a programmer at Bell laboratories working on some kind of operating system and ziggy say's your here to Write what once went wrong." --------------- From: cluac@csv.warwick.ac.uk (D S Bevan) Date: 9 Feb 1994 12:39:56 -0000 Here's another one for you--a little obscure perhaps but your cartoon knowledge has to be good.... tell you what it is later--guesses to the ql creative "Uh,Sam,Ziggy says you're called Old Man Winters and there's an 85% chance you're here to stop those...pesky kids from foiling your plan..???" --------------- From: u2nmh@csc.liv.ac.uk (N.M. Humphries) Date: Wed, 9 Feb 1994 12:24:47 GMT "Sam, we got one crazy guy in the waiting room. He keeps tweaking his nipples and says he can't even pick up Jazz FM! *zoink* Hang on, got to go, Ziggy says he's got hold of a power cable and doesn't like to think where he's going to put it..." "Sam, we can't get any details from the guy in the Waiting Room, all he says is his name is Admiral Rimmer and we can mind our own smegging business. *zoink* Whoa! He's just totally, unconditionally and utterly surrendered and now wants to tell us everything and he's very sorry for taking up our time. What a boneheaded wimp..." --------------- From: y0000085@ws.rz.tu-bs.de (Franz) Date: Wed, 9 Feb 1994 13:14:22 GMT "Sam, we can't understand this guy. Ziggy's looking up the Chinese files now... What? The guy says his name is Liu Kang and he wants to know what manner of sorcerers we are who have kidnapped him from the Outworld..." --------------- From: mre@christa.unh.edu (Mike 'Ergh' Escutia) Date: 11 Feb 1994 04:31:39 GMT "Sam, Ziggy says that you have to tell the mechanic that you're *not* going to pay a lot for this muffler." --------------- From: Tracy E. Finifter Date: Fri, 11 Feb 94 11:43:25 EST "Sam, Ziggy says screw the snow. Get out to California while the gettin's good.)" --------------- From: Greg_Tufaro@bunter.dartmouth.edu (Greg) Date: Mon, 14 Feb 1994 01:23:55 GMT This might be a little tasteless, but I couldn't help but find it funny as I thought about it. "Sam, Ziggy says that you...*BOINK*.. have to sell your estate....called.... Nev.....*BOP*...Neverland. You're name's Michael Jackson, and boy... Peter, looks like it's time for you to fly." :) Hope everybody likes that one. --------------- From: Aaron Thomas Date: Mon, 14 Feb 1994 20:04:59 EST Yes, and he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids, and that dumb dog. ;) Seriously though, here is yet another QL One-Liner (In PARTS! Big QL fans should get this after the first part, so I'll just throw in a few spoilers!) "Okay, Sam, you're a playright" and now, part two... "This guy's kind of wierd - he's into death! Oh well, nothing to do while Ziggy runs a few senarios but wait..." (Sorry for fans, but I only have second-hand info on the leapee, and desperately hope this characterization is correct.) --------------- From: Aaron Thomas Date: Tue, 15 Feb 1994 13:47:06 EST Here's one that should have happened... LEAPING BUD MELVIN or THE LEAPER IS NOT FOR SALE FEBRUARY 14, 1994 "Sam, Ziggy says to tell your son to shut up, then proceed to ask Hillary Rodham Clinton about... THE PRESIDENTIAL FRENCH FRIES!!!!" (Since it's 1999, a much better Washington D.C./Bill Clinton/McDonald's montage - holographic, of course ;) - appears on the monitors.) Aaron (I never noticed the QL-Wild, Wild West connection before :-) Thomas --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Mon, 14 Feb 1994 20:24:23 GMT "Ok Sam, you're this hot-shot-alternative-religion-guru and Ziggy says theres a 96% probability you have to *SQUIRK* *hits handset* take the family to Beverley Hills?" Or has this one already been done? --------------- From: jfm@christa.unh.edu (John F Moore) Date: 23 Feb 1994 20:37:29 GMT "Hey Sam, there's a short bald guy in the waiting room telling us to `be vewwy vewwy quiet...'. Anyway, Ziggy says there's a 87% probablility you're here to kill a (smack) a wabbit?" --------------- From: Yapha Schochet Date: Wed, 2 Mar 94 9:43 +0300 Your name is Allan Sherman and you're supposed to sing something called "The Ballad of Oh Boy." --------------- From: I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk (MAD Mosher) Date: Wed, 2 Mar 1994 12:52:09 GMT Okay - see if you can spot the relevence. Daryl's not allowed to enter coz it was his idea though he probably forgot it as he was drunk when he came up with it... :) "Sam, you've leapt into a bass player with a heavy metal band and you've to...*bash* *squirk* stop the Dane from driving...?" --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Thu, 3 Mar 1994 17:17:38 GMT MAD Mosher (I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: : Okay - see if you can spot the relevence. Daryl's not allowed to enter coz : it was his idea though he probably forgot it as he was drunk when he came : up with it... :) : "Sam, you've leapt into a bass player with a heavy metal band and you've : to...*bash* *squirk* stop the Dane from driving...?" HEY, y' plagiaristic get! I did NOT forget it... In fact I modified it to include a few more obvious clues such as "and your name's Cliff Barton, or something..." as well as adding the word "loudmouth" before Dane, then I sent it off to one of my REAL friends, so there! ObQLOneLiner: "OK Sam, you're an aspiring bit-part actress called Sharon Tate, *blip* *thump* DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR SAM... Whoops! Somebody call a Paramedic!" --------------- From: I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk (MAD Mosher) Date: Thu, 3 Mar 1994 18:11:39 GMT Daryl Parson (D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: : then I sent it off to one of my REAL friends, so there! Do not be fooled. Daryl has no real friends. Don't tell him, but I'm only pretending... ObOneLiner: Al:"Who's the old guy? Hey, Sam! run! They're coming for ya! And Ziggy says that Jodie Foster won't be impressed...?" Go one - get *that* one!! --------------- From: cluac@csv.warwick.ac.uk (D S Bevan) Date: 4 Mar 1994 10:37:30 -0000 That Sharon Tate line is baaaaaadddddddd---- here's some nice ones for ya "Uh Sam, your name is Dick Dastedley and Ziggy says you're here to ....stop the pigeon????" "Uh Sam you're a fat,lazy,orange cat and there's an 88%chance you're here to kick that mutt off the end of the table......" "Uh Sam, your name is Christopher Dean and Ziggy says there's a 90% chance you're here to disappoint your public....."(Hahhahahahahah) Stay calm guys and keep leaping.,.. Special" hello and respect " to Terri Librande and MAD Mosher for being so nice when I was ill.....cheers guys --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Fri, 4 Mar 1994 12:59:17 GMT MAD Mosher (I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: : Daryl Parson (D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: : : then I sent it off to one of my REAL friends, so there! : Do not be fooled. Daryl has no real friends. Don't tell him, but I'm only : pretending... Don't worry, Iain... I KNEW! : ObOneLiner: Al:"Who's the old guy? Hey, Sam! run! They're coming for ya! : And Ziggy says that Jodie Foster won't be impressed...?" : Go one - get *that* one!! The guy who shot Reagan... So you watched 'The Rock and Roll years' a few days back, big deal! ObOneLiner: "Ok Sam, you appear to be this rock singer called Blaze Bayley... The guy with his foot on the monitor is called *blip* *squirk* Steve Harris. *Bloop* *Whirr* Whatever you do DON'T SIGN THE CONTRACT... Too late!" So THAT'S how it happened! --------------- From: I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk (MAD Mosher) Date: Fri, 4 Mar 1994 13:35:01 GMT Daryl Parson (D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: : MAD Mosher (I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: : : Daryl Parson (D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk) wrote: ...etc..etc... Anyone else want to join in? ObOneLiner: "Well, Sam - these are the Oxford Apartments. That's your room there - number 213. Ziggy's saying something *bump* *squirk* about the smell having nothing to do with the broken refrigerator...?" --------------- From: nhy@tiamat.umd.umich.edu (Amy Renaud) Date: 4 Mar 1994 11:40:20 -0500 Sam, you seem to be some sort of royalty, and grew up on a farm? Ziggy says not to sign with the Army? (wirzerk), No don't sign with someone with a high rank, I think it was Crnl. --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Mon, 14 Mar 1994 15:36:30 GMT Douglas J Renze (drenze@icaen.uiowa.edu) wrote: : D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) writes: : >Amy Renaud (nhy@tiamat.umd.umich.edu) wrote: : >: Sam, you seem to be some sort of royalty, and : >: grew up on a farm? Ziggy says not to sign with the Army? (wirzerk), No : >: don't sign with someone with a high rank, I think it was Crnl. : >"Sam, this is weird... Ziggy says that you've leapt into the same person : >about 10 years later... *bleep* DON'T EAT THAT LARDBURGER!!! Sheesh... : >What a mess!" : Buh? Yup, it's truly horrible the way that Elvis died... Eating an amphetamine laced lardburger whilst having a dump... Or something... ObOneLiner: "Ok Sam, you're this assistant Sound Engineer for a TV company called Belisarius or something. You've got to take the theme music from a popular science fiction programme and screw around with it until it sounds crap!" --------------- From: I.R.Purdie@bradford.ac.uk (MAD Mosher) Date: Mon, 14 Mar 1994 22:36:57 GMT ObOneLiner: "Sam, you've leapt across the Atlantic! It took Ziggy ages finding you. Anyway, you're programme controller of some TV station. Looks like your mission for the betterment of history this time is to ensure the broadcast of *every* episode, in order of some series called...no...this can't be right..." --------------- From: 2EI5ZEMANP@vmsf.csd.mu.edu Date: Mon, 14 Mar 1994 21:14:47 -0600 (CST) "Sam, Ziggy's not sure what you're here to do, but we do know that you have to say, `There is no number six....'" --------------- From: quantum@zebra.cs.jhu.edu (Ariel Halpern) Date: 15 Mar 1994 06:22:45 GMT This is my first time posting here, and I thought this was pretty funny, but not that great (it was the only thing I could think of). When I think of something better I will post: "Sam, Ziggy says you are here to give these kids a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down." I just thought of another: "Sam, Ziggy says that you are a bartender, and everybody knows your name." and for those of you that are horror buffs: "Sam, Ziggy says that you are a famous author, and the woman that lives in this house is your number one fan!" :O --------------- From: nhy@tiamat.umd.umich.edu (Amy Renaud) Date: 15 Mar 1994 14:57:36 -0500 No! Sam, Sam! Get up Sam! No Sam, you don't want to lay there! *buzsaw whine* SAM! --------------- From: rblack@cs.strath.ac.uk (Richard Black CS92) Date: 16 Mar 1994 12:31:16 GMT In article <2m3k7l$duv@blaze.cs.jhu.edu>, quantum@zebra.cs.jhu.edu (Ariel Halpern) writes: > and for those of you that are horror buffs: > > "Sam, Ziggy says that you are a famous author, and the woman that lives > in this house is your number one fan!" :O Stephen King was done a while back Pretty good, though How about "Sam, Ziggy says you are a famous Irish poet/playrwrite.... ....... Samuel Beckett???" --------------- From: marshall@exg106.rh.psu.edu (Marshall Maresca) Date: 16 Mar 1994 14:29:15 GMT OK, here's one... well, it isn't a one-liner per se. But here it is. Oh, and this takes place in the waiting room. "What did you call me? "I said you were a Leaper." "A Leaper? Are you saying I've jumped off the deep end? That I am just hopping and springing around, here to amuse you?" "No, I meant that you've Leaped in time." "I am a Leaper?" "Yeah." "That's it!" "Dr. Beeks, get this pigeon off me!" "Beaks? I'll give you beaks!!" --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Wed, 16 Mar 1994 13:55:03 GMT "Sam, It's 1992, and you're this actor called Sweet, or Candy or something. And Ziggy's saying there's a 95% probability that you're here to *squirk* lose some weight in the next 2 years you fat bastard???" --------------- From: chou@acs4.bu.edu (Andrew Chou) Date: 16 Mar 1994 20:52:32 GMT Referring to the John Candy one-liner...Sam doesn't leap into the leapee's body. So Sam would not be able to lose Candy's weight. This is supported by several eps, two being: 1) Sam leapt into the life of a blind piano player and could still see, and 2) Sam leapt into the life of a soldier who was amputated but could still to a nozzle's surprise still walk! --------------- From: Steve.Lake@brunel.ac.uk (Steve M Lake) Date: Thu, 17 Mar 1994 08:38:53 GMT ObALMOSTOneLiner: "Sam, Ziggy says you're a vice president and all you have to do to leap is spell Potato correctly!" "Umm... P.. O T A T .... aw geee... O ?" (Queue the blue flashy thing) --------------- From: rblack@cs.strath.ac.uk (Richard Black CS92) Date: 18 Mar 1994 14:07:50 GMT Here is another one liner : "Sam, Ziggy says your name is Luke, and its *Squrk* a long time ago......" Or how about : Al : "Sam, Ziggy says this is Aurora, Illinois, and you are a teenage greaseball with his own cable show." Sam : "No way!!!!" which isn't strictly one line I know, but who's counting? --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Subject: Re: Another one-liner Date: Thu, 10 Mar 1994 14:13:53 GMT Amy Renaud (nhy@tiamat.umd.umich.edu) wrote: : Sam, you seem to be some sort of royalty, and : grew up on a farm? Ziggy says not to sign with the Army? (wirzerk), No : don't sign with someone with a high rank, I think it was Crnl. "Sam, this is weird... Ziggy says that you've leapt into the same person about 10 years later... *bleep* DON'T EAT THAT LARDBURGER!!! Sheesh... What a mess!" --------------- From: kingv@ccmail.orst.edu (Valery King) Date: 18 Mar 1994 16:17:52 GMT "Oh, Sam, you're a cheerleader! Cute outfit. Anyway, Ziggy says you're in Twin Peaks, Washington, your name is Laura Palmer, and you have to ... uh oh..." --------------- From: "Tracy E. Finifter" Date: Sat, 19 Mar 94 23:27:10 EST For Cheryl: "Sam, forget what that nozzle of a producer says. *Ziggy* says to go ahead and use your *own* band, and your chances of winning a Grammy will go up by 84%." or how about... "You're here to keep these three women, who've never really met, from going crazy writing this never-ending story about somebody named Charlie." My apologies if these are inside jokes. --------------- From: harron@chopin.udel.edu (David Harron Herman) Date: 20 Mar 1994 20:29:04 -0500 My roommate suggested this one, so don't blame me: "Sam, you've just been beaten up and raped by your husband, and see that knife over there. You're supposed to take it and.... OH MY GOD, your name is Lorena Bobbit!" --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Sat, 9 Apr 1994 16:14:54 GMT "Sam, It's 1994, 8th of April to be precise... You're a famous singer from Seattle... *beep squirk* THAT'S NOT A LIGHTSWITCH SAM, DON'T PULL IT! Sheesh, what a mess!" --------------- From: nakazawa@aludra.usc.edu (Rei Nakazawa) Date: 14 Apr 1994 01:49:31 -0700 "God, this guy you've leaped into is an asshole! Okay, your name is Brad Majors, and you and your fiancee Janet Weiss are on your way to visit... Sam, no! Don't back up the car! Don't...! Damn." "Your name's Skeet or Skeeve or something. This is a marketplace somewhere called Deva and... uh, Sam, I think that gargoyle's alive..." "Sam, you're an LA cop, and it's half past four in the morning on January 17, 1994... SAM! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE DRIVING!!!" "Okay, your name is Dr. Ian Malcolm, and you're on an island off Costa Rica. You're here to observe the opening of someplace called... uh, where'd this huge shadow come from?" "According to Ziggy, your name is Leroy Brown and... you're the baddest man in the whole damn town???" "This is a real simple one, Sam. All you've gotta do is to lean out that hole and say... TH-TH-THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!" --------------- From: D.Parson@bradford.ac.uk (Daryl Parson) Date: Mon, 2 May 1994 16:54:35 GMT "Sam. You're a Brazillian race car driver called 'Seyonara' or something... SAM! THIS ISN'T A PRACTICE DRIVE, TURN TO THE LEFT... NO I MEANT RIGHT! SAM! Sheesh... What a mess!" Just got that one in before Mosh did! ---------------