From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Subject: Pardox Delusion, part 10 Date: Sun, 23 Feb 1997 04:29:27 GMT Message-ID: <3312c6ec.33141620@m3.sprynet.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Chapter Ten: "It's good to see you again, Sam," Patrick said. As he came into focus, Sam saw him sitting on the coach. He gestured for the time traveler to sit down beside him. "Are you ready to begin with your first question?" "First, there's a couple of things I need to tell you about. I contacted Meg Miller, and she decided to come down. Another point of view couldn't hurt our case, I figured. Something else happened to me this morning that you need to know about. I guess you'd call it a revelation. I know about your cat, Snow White, and how she died." Patrick nodded. "I'm not surprised that one of my most vivid memories emerged into your consciousness. I could sense our psychic link growing stronger. Be careful, Sam. If you have any more visions or revelations of any kind, don't let them control you. There may be a corrupted spirit involved here looking for such an opportunity to take advantage of you. Concentrate on your past and the other people you've leaped into. The spirit will have a much more difficult time manipulating you, if you do." "I'll try my best," Beckett replied. "I leaped into a priest once. I was wondering if you knew whether he was one of the spirits trying to help me." "I believe that's a very good possibility. Although the Church often takes a dim view on parapsychologists, some individual priests do not. I think you have a special bond with this priest, having once leaped into him. In a cosmic sense, he may be as connected to you as you and I are this moment." "It's not that I don't believe you, but I really find all this hard to imagine. Are you saying that although this priest does not consciously know that he is helping me, that he is somehow communicating with me?" "Yes, and his presence is strengthening your barrier against Ben Simms." Sam nodded, accepting the explanation although he was not quite able to shake the eerie feeling of knowing that past hosts could influence him. "The second question: I had a vision of cannibals. I've taken on the partial persona of other leap host's before, but I'd never experienced anything so intense. I was wondering if you had any idea what this vision might mean." Patrick nodded. "The entity influencing Ben knew how to throw enough negativity your way to place you over the edge, literally. He may be aware of your acrophobia." "How?" "If he is being manipulated by corrupted spirits or demons, they may have fed him information." "Zoey?" "Possibly. We don't have enough information yet to know that for certain." "How do I prevent him from controlling me like that?" "The same way you ward off spontaneous visions or revelations like the one about Snow White: concentrate on your past. If you allow yourself to make a PSI connection with Montgomery, it might force Ben to acknowledge that an affair never occurred." Sam paused for a moment to contemplate the psychic's suggestion. He wondered if he would truly be capable of letting his inhibitions go enough to allow visions to come when he faced another confrontation with Ben. He felt too weak. "The third question is another journal- related question," he continued slowly. "Did you see these visions while you were awake or asleep?" "Both. I can't always control when or where I have them. Thanks to the grace of God, there is usually sufficient time between them. Some visions can be a tremendous shock to the psyche." Sam nodded in agreement. "That brings me to question number four about the dream I had. You were a soldier named Matthew Wayneright in your last life, right?" "Yes," Patrick replied in an oddly calm voice. Had he found peace with the way his last life had ended so brusquely? "Do you think those memories can help in any way?" Sam saw the psychic's expression change from one of grim concern to one of hope. "If you can make Ben understand the correlation between his experience and Matthew Wayneright. It won't be easy, especially when Ben is none too willing to listen. Do you understand what I'm talking about, Sam?" "I have to convince Ben that his experience over in Vietnam is distorting his sense of reality, that many soldiers of war suffer from such delusions." Patrick nodded. "I think it's time that I tell you about the second journal." "There's another one?" "It's in the bottom drawer of the desk in the bedroom. When we're finished with Levels, I want you to read it. But under no circumstances are you to share specific details with anyone, not even Raymond. I would not share it with you if it were not absolutely necessary." "What's in this journal?" "I've documented a series of visions that I've had during the past several months. They're connected with everything you've read in the first journal, but they are so significant that I felt they needed to be kept in a separate journal. I didn't want you to know about this journal until I felt you were ready. Read each entry carefully, Sam. I don't just mean meticulously--I mean you need to safeguard against any triggers. We are connected, you and I, and I'd like to avoid another incident like the one you had with the cannibal vision." "How do I safeguard against any triggers?" "Read them slowly and in between entries, think about everyday, non-psychic things. Draw strength from past leap hosts and most importantly, if you begin to feel the least bit odd, take a break and come back to the journal later." "Okay," Sam replied with a lump in his throat. "This journal talks about the future lives I will have to live if this leap fails. If it does, I don't want you to feel guilty, because as much as any one of your hosts had a choice about your leap in, I have chosen these lives as my alternate future." "What will happen during these lifetimes?" "I think it's best that you find that out from the journal. The cannibals belong to one of these worlds. You will learn all that I know about them by reading the journal." "If Ben does attack me--or rather, you, and then you die, is there any way to prevent your having to live those horrible future lives?" "There is, but I have already agreed to them." Patrick turned pale, nearly grey. "When God agreed to let you leap out upon failure, HE presented me with three choices. I could enter into a limbo state. I could spend time in a non-Heaven state, such as Purgatory, or I could continue my psychic mission in alternate dimensions. It is important that you understand why I have chosen the latter and will not renege on my promise. "The worlds where I will live out these alternate lives are quite devastating. I believe that by placing myself into the lives of victims of horrific torture, I will somehow incite positive change in each of those worlds. But I don't want you to dwell on my fate if you should happen to fail. You've done a lot of good, Sam, helped a lot of people. I want you to remember that." "I realize that, but what you ask. . .I'm not sure I can promise to turn my emotions off. My failure--your future!" Patrick brought a reassuring hand to Beckett's shoulder. "You have taken on so much responsibility already. Let me own my problems, my responsibilities, my. . .life. I agreed to live through a chain of reincarnations in alternate universes, because while we're connected anything either of us does effects the other. If I accomplish something, then you earn, for a lack of a better word, points toward returning home." "Does that mean--" "Yes, Sam, you can go home. Someday, when you've reached your goal, you will be allowed to go home. Neither you nor I know exactly what that goal is, but be assured, that with each success, we are closer to obtaining it." "How does knowing all this make you feel? Do visions ever make you lose sleep or anything?" "Yes," Patrick replied, "boy do they ever! That's how I became addicted to coffee. I had to have something to get me going on those mornings I had a freelance assignment to get to. There are times when I wish I could totally block out visions. When I feel this way, I wish I'd never had my accident, never slipped into a coma, and never had my psychic abilities awakened. However, when I'm thinking rationally, as I am right now, I remember that God has a purpose for everyone. I don't fully understand what he has planned for me. No one can know that. But I know that HE gave me my psychic abilities, so I could fulfill some preordained mission. When I slipped into my coma, I nearly died. During that time, I had a conversation with God. He told me everything and nothing in that encounter." "That's a contradiction if I ever heard one." "In a non-linear universe, one second can be an hour, one hour a second. Many words can be spoken and unspoken. Over the years, HE has allowed me to remember snatches of our conversation, one detail at a time. Don't you see, to know it all at once--what makes the universe tick--in our mortal form--It would be too overwhelming even for someone in a highly psychic state." A long moment of silence elapsed between them as Sam drank in the fountain of information just presented to him. "I'd like to know more specifically about your reasons for allowing me to leap into your life," he finally said. "At first my memory of the actual agreement was quite vague, but HE has helped me realize fully the circumstances surrounding the agreement through visions, dreams, and personal insights. I was offered the choice. I accepted, conditionally." "Conditionally? You bargained with God?" "Yes, but not the way a bureaucrat would bargain. I asked that HE ensure me that if the situation becomes fatal that HE would allow you to leap out." "But failure during a leap precludes my being able to leap out." "So, what you're saying is that if you don't accomplish your goal during a leap, you'd have to live out the rest of that person's life? What would happen to that person then?" "I guess they would be stuck in my body." "You believe that theory, because you've never had to test it. Your leaps have always been successful. There have been many theories throughout history that were believed for decades, even centuries, until someone came along and disproved them." "Are you saying that you're the one who can disprove my theory about leap failure?" "If you fail, I think a valuable lesson could be learned." "Wait a minute! That sounds as though you're saying I need to fail this leap in order to accomplish success!" Patrick sighed. "Life is riddled with paradoxes." He paused in thought for a long moment. "That is one of the possible outcomes. I don't know. Maybe you do need to fail, so I will have to endure those future lives. Maybe that is a greater trade off." "But Karen--I can't bare the thought of failing her again. If we leave her in limbo--" "I know this is all very difficult for you to accept, Sam. You must remember that I am as unsure of the outcome as you are. Maybe we will help Karen find peace. Just maybe we will." There are several others, some with higher probabilities than others." "And they are?' "They're not all clear to me. Some come as vague images, and I'm sure, others not at all. I do know that there's a slight chance that you could develop a personal insight into Ben's turmoil, but I hope not at the expense of recognizing that you have a second mission here." "I don't know what you're talking about. How can I have another mission when I'm spending all my time reading your journal, trying to tap into my psychic ability so I can convince Ben the demons are lying to him and that he should leave the Sheffields alone." "I believe it is best that you figure this one out on your own, but I will tell you that you shouldn't forget about the Sheffields. They have needs beyond their house problem." "Meg visited Lisanne Sheffield yesterday, hoping to find out whether or not Charles is abusive. She didn't really get any answer to that, but she did learn that Charles strongly opposes the idea of his wife getting a job. Living out of a hotel, their financial situation has to be getting quite strained. "I'm glad Meg went to see Lisanne. She's a very receptive woman. If anyone can get Lisanne to open up it's Meg." "She was a bit discouraged when I spoke to her." "Tell her not to give up." Sam nodded. "I must also stress the importance of my own personal mission to you, Sam. I accepted this leap-in for several reasons, but none as important as the need to instruct you." "Again, you have me at a loss. All this talk about psychic phenomena is so new to me." "That's okay. I realized that, and that is exactly why I thought it was so important to accept this leap-in now while your psychic abilities are still latent. There will be times during future leaps where you'll need to tap into these abilities as a receptor. They'll probably be few and far between, but I do sense that the need is out there. I need to prepare you for them." "I've never considered that one leap could influence another." "I understand how, when you're caught up in the importance of your current mission, that you can lose sight of the "big picture." But Sam, the most wonderful part about your leaping is the chain reaction. Everything you do, everything you learn, you take with you into your next leap. When you better yourself, you become more qualified to handle new situations. Past leaps not only help you through experiences, but also because you remain connected with many of your hosts. On a subconscious level, I believe you are aware of this, Sam." "There was a woman I met once who saw something in my eyes. She said they were filled with souls. I think I heard her voice when I saw the cannibals--But she was never a host." Patrick nodded. "It is also possible for you to become connected with highly psychic individuals, whom you come into contact with." "There's one other thing I'd like to ask you before I slip out of Levels to read that journal. Karen came to me earlier today." Concern registered on Patrick's face, but he did not say anything. "She wants to speak with you. She feels that you can help her figure out how to deal with her husband. She's afraid of him. What's worse, demons are trying to coax her over to their side. "Sam, if God thought it would work out better for me to deal with her directly, HE would never have asked for my permission to allow you to leap in." "But what if God wants you and I to work together to help Karen. Through Levels, we can do that." Patrick reflected on this suggestion for a moment. "That is a possibility that I have not considered. Let me think about it for a while. I'll give you my recommendation through Al." "Recommendation?" "Yes. The final decision should be yours." As Sam nodded, he slowly allowed himself to slip away from Patrick and back into his room. Calavicci had popped out sometime during the Levels session. "Al?" Beckett called although he knew his friend couldn't hear him from outside of the imaging chamber. He got up and walked out of the room and across the hall. Hearing the gentle clicking of Meg's keyboard, he decided to knock. After a moment, she came to the door. "How did it go?" she asked. "I think it went rather well--except when I came out of Levels, Al was no longer in the room. That bothered me for a moment." He paused. "Am I disturbing your writing? We can talk later." "No, it's fine. I can use a break anyway. Would you like to take a walk and talk about it?" "Yeah, I'd appreciate that." "Give me a minute to get my shoes and coat on, then, and I'll be right out." Meg, following Sam's gaze, glanced over her shoulder, obviously aware that the project observer had returned. As Al stepped toward Sam, he fiddled with the handlink. "Sam, I'm sorry about stepping out for a while, but the session went on for so long," Calavicci said. "Did Patrick answer all your questions?" "Al asked whether Patrick answered all my questions," Sam explained to Meg as he sat up. "Yes, he did." During the next few minutes, the time traveler recounted his interaction with Patrick Marland. "What do you think I should do, Al?" Beckett asked when he'd finished. "I think you should step out of the house for a while," the hologram replied. "That way you can clear your head before the next surprise rears its ugly head." "Meg suggested the same thing." Sam glanced at her with a smile. "We're going to take a walk together in a couple of minutes." "Ah. . .lucky you," Al said enviously. "I wouldn't mind taking a dame like that--" "Al!" "What did he say?" Meg asked. Sam looked at the project observer as he replied. "He said he was leaving, so we could take our walk." "Okay, I get the picture, Sam," Al said before popping out. A couple minutes later, Sam and Meg stepped out the front door. "It's getting dark out already!" Sam exclaimed. "Already? It's after six o'clock. You didn't realize how long your Levels session lasted, did you?" "Apparently not." "Let's go that way," Meg said, pointing to her left. "We can walk through the park just a couple of blocks away. They made their way down the sidewalk and through the park. Meg stopped at the swings and sat down in one. Following her example, Sam sat down in the next one over. "I used to love to swing when I was a little girl," she said, bending and flexing her legs slightly. "To be so innocent again." "Why not?" Sam said and began pumping his swing upward. It felt good to behave like a child for a while, to forget the problems they faced. With a squeal, Meg joined him and they competed to see who could swing the highest. After several minutes, they both grew exhausted and conceded to a tie. "Thanks, Sam," she said after catching her breath. "I really needed that." "We better get back before it's pitch dark out." When they returned to the Sheffield house, Raymond greeted them at the door. "Charles Sheffield called while you were gone," Raymond said. "He's none too happy." "We're working as fast as we can," Sam replied. "No. That's not it. Lisanne told him about Meg's visit yesterday." "I should have considered that possibility," Meg said. "I should never have stuck my nose in their personal business." Sam placed his hands reassuringly on her shoulders. "Don't fret about it. I'll call Sheffield back and calm him down." "How?" "I don't know. I'll improvise." Sam went to the phone and dialed the hotel number from memory. Sheffield answered on the second ring. "Mr. Sheffield, this is Patrick Marland returning your call." "Yes. I want to thank your little friend for coercing my wife." "Meg did not coerce your wife, sir. She just wanted to help." Hearing this, Meg walked up to stand beside Sam. She was obviously trying to restrain herself from grabbing the phone and telling Sheffield off. "My wife does not have to work. I make plenty to support her. But now thanks to your friend, she's gone out and gotten herself a job at a flower shop. I don't need my wife coming home every day with dirty hands and too tired to cook a decent meal." "Mr. Sheffield, did you ever consider that your wife might find working with plants rewarding?" "Well, I can't ask her that now, because I don't know where she is!" Sam lowered the phone to whisper to Meg, "He doesn't know where she is!" Alarm registered on her face, but she didn't reply. They couldn't carry on a conversation while they still had Charles Sheffield on the phone. "Mr. Sheffield," Sam said, returning the receiver to his face, "I'm sure your wife will return soon, and Meg apologizes for the trouble she caused. We will certainly understand if you decide to call us off the case and hire someone new." "No, no. Bringing someone new in would just undermine the progress you've made. Just stick to getting rid of the ghosts from now on and leave my wife alone!" Sheffield hung up the phone. "Well, I can't say that I calmed him down," Sam said returning the receiver to its cradle, "but at least he didn't fire us. Lisanne was hired by one of the flower shops in the area. Although Charles warned us to stay away from his wife, I don't think that would be a good idea." "I don't either!" Meg exclaimed. "Be very careful, you two," Raymond interjected. "Getting in the middle of a domestic problem can be dangerous." "I've been through my share of danger," Meg told him. "So have I," Sam said. "There's obviously something not right going on between them," Meg added. "If only I had some kind of proof, I'd go to the police or a social worker." "But even with proof," Sam began, " if Lisanne isn't willing to press charges--" Meg clenched her fist. "I pray to God that she's left him." After she had a chance to release some of her anger, she said. "I think we need a bouquet of flowers to brighten the living room. I'll go out and buy some tomorrow." "Good thinking." Raymond shook his head, but rather than say any more, he opted to retreat into the kitchen. "What should we do now?" Meg asked. "You said earlier that you wished you could know a little about my past. I'd like to show you something." He led her up to his bedroom and grabbed the photograph of himself off the dresser. "Patrick took this photograph of me when we were in high school." "You knew each other!" she exclaimed as she accepted the picture. "Not exactly. We both lived in Indiana, but we attended different high schools. He was at that basketball game, taking pictures for his school's newspaper." "There's a blue light surrounding you," Meg said. "Either that high school gym had odd lighting or--" "That was the moment I leaped out. You see, a while back I leaped into myself, at the age of sixteen, and I went back to win that basketball game against Bentleyville." Al returned at that moment, chewing on an unlit cigar. "I trust you're done with your walk by now," he said. Sam glanced at the older man, but did not respond. "A lot of people wish to return to their childhood," Meg said, oblivious to Al's presence. "You actually got to for a while." She handed the photograph back to Beckett. "I kept this picture out, because Raymond says that photographs help Patrick see his visions clearer. Unfortunately, I can't see anything beyond the photo. I felt so vulnerable like a puppet. I let the spirit lead me out into the hallway and I would have jumped if Patrick hadn't warned me." "I was with him, Sam, when he sent the warning," Al said as he lit his cigar and began puffing on it. "He kept saying 'fight back,' over and over so many times that I thought he was going to start convulsing." Sam walked over to the desk and removed the second journal. "Patrick told me to read this right away." "What is it?" Meg asked. At the same time, Al asked, "Another journal?" "Yes, a journal," Sam replied, glancing from Al to Meg. "Al's here again," he informed Meg. "I hope this gives me the strength to convince Ben to fight the evil spirits, so I can leap out of here." "I hope so too, Sam," Al replied. Meg walked up to Sam and grasped his free hand. She obviously sympathized with his plight, but was she becoming too attached to him even though she realized he would eventually leap out? "Al, do you haven anything new you need to tell me?" "I just wanted to make sure you were all right," the project observer admitted. "Looks like Meg's taking good care of you." "Thanks for your concern, Al. Now if you would excuse me, I'd like to read a little of this journal before dinner." "While you do that, I'll have a talk with Patrick. Let's see if we can't come up with any ideas." He punched a couple buttons, then stepped through the door, taking him back to The Waiting Room. "Could you give me some time alone, Meg?" Sam asked. "Of course," she replied. "I have some research that I've been procrastinating about. I guess I can get to that now. Thanks for the walk, Sam." "I should be thanking you." Meg looked a bit embarrassed, but smiled and kissed Sam on the cheek. They stared at one another for a long moment and Sam felt a sudden tension between them. He was beginning to feel attracted to this woman! But would it be right to make a move now? He would only be Patrick for a short while longer and he had no idea whether it was Patrick's destiny to form a permanent relationship with Meg or not. "I'll see you later," she said, breaking the tension by turning and leaving the room. Sam sat down at the desk and began reading the second journal, which foretold of bizarre future lives.