From: "M. Cogburn" Date: Fri, 4 Dec 1998 22:26:07 -0600 Subject: Portraits Of The Past, Part 4 Chapter Four Margaret sat at home on the couch trying to do her homework. The television was off and so was the stereo but she just couldn't concentrate. All she could think of was Jason. Was she mistaken to think that she had felt some kind of passion in their kiss this morning? And what of the kiss they shared in Theater? She had put all of the passion she had felt for him in that kiss only to tell him that it was just an acting kiss. She sighed. She placed her books down on the coffee table and tossed her pen at them. Her mind just wasn't into studying. She uncrossed her legs and stretched them out. She stood and walked into the kitchen. She was hungry but she didn't know what she wanted to eat. She searched the pantry. Nothing there that she was interested in. She crossed to the refrigerator, opened it and peered inside. Still nothing. She looked down at her watch. It was 4:30. She grimaced. It was Monday and she knew she had to go to the therapy session. She didn't have the heart to go. No, that's not it, she thought to herself. I don't want to go and face that . . . that gorgeous man that I've fallen in love with. She opened the refrigerator door once more and pulled out a coke to drink. She pulled the tab back and took a gulp. She forced herself to return to the couch to study. Sure, she wasn't into it, but maybe something would sink in. She picked her Chemistry book back up and began reading a paragraph then outlining the paragraph on paper what it was about. She knew it was a useless task since she had a photographic memory, but it helped her to get her mind off her troubles. The phone rang. She looked up from her book and looked at the phone across the room. She knew who it was and smiled as she quickly went to it. "Hello?" "Hey there sweet cheeks." Jon-Bob's tenor voice rang in her ear. "You studying as usual?" Margaret grinned as she twined the telephone cord in her fingers. "Yes, I am. Something you should do also." "Oh no, no, not me." Jon-Bob grinned. "Why'd you call? I was supposed to call you, remember?" "Just wanted to check on you. I was worried about you." Margaret knew that Jon-bob cared for her. She knew that he would be there for her if anything happened. And he had proved that time and time again. "You don't need to worry about me so much, Jon. But, I'm thankful that I have you as a friend." Jon-Bob grimaced. Friend. He really wished that he could tell her exactly how he felt for her. But, he knew that she longed for another. Another who didn't think that she existed and who now seemed to play bad jokes on her. He sighed and shook his head. "Yeah. I'm glad too." Sam sat stunned. He knew that his Quantum Leaping through Time had changed people's life's, but it had changed her life wrongly. He had killed her. He closed his eyes tightly. He had saved his brother's life, but taken hers instead. He took a deep breath and his chin began to quiver as he lowered his head. "Sam, it's not your fault. None of it is your fault." Al stuck his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor. Sam's head jerked up and he stared openly at him with his mouth open. "She sure as hell didn't die the first time April the eighth rolled around." Al straightened his shoulders and squared his jaw. He sighed heavily before he said, "But Tom did." "Well, there you go. I traded a life for a life." Sam leaned back on the bed and draped an arm over his eyes. Al screwed up his face and licked at his dry lips. "I was the one who led you back to save Tom, so if anyone's responsible it's me." When Sam didn't respond, Al threw up his arms in despair. They had this conversation before and it irritated him to go over it again. "My God, Sam, it was war. People were killed on both sides and neither sides cared." "I care." Sam sat up aggravated yet despondent. "Damn it all, I killed her." "How?' Al's voice rose in volume. "Did you pull the trigger? Did you rig that damn booby trap that killed her? No! You're not in 1970 anymore. You can't save her. You're in 1996. You're here to save Maggie's niece from killing herself." Al began to pace in front of Sam four steps each way; a pace he had learned while he had been a POW. "Yeah, well . . ." Sam began. Al stopped pacing and looked directly into Sam's green eyes. "Damn it, Sam. Get over it!" He hated yelling to his friend -- his best friend. Yet, he also hated seeing the man feel sorry for himself. "Whatever has been leaping you in Time has placed you in 1996 to save Margaret's life." He blew out some of his frustration and tried to calm himself down. "I don't know what's going on in that mind of yours that makes you feel so sorry for yourself, but maybe this leap is a way you can ease your conscience. A way to put to rest all of these emotions that have control over you." Al pulled out the handlink and angrily pushed the button to open the Imaging Chamber Door. "But I'll be damned if I'm gonna stay here and watch you feel sorry for yourself." Al stepped through the door and pushed the button to close it. "Al." Sam said but the door had already closed. He sighed, maybe Al's right. He laid back and contemplated over the emotions that were welled up inside him. "I was monitoring your side of the conversation with Dr. Beckett. Wasn't that a little harsh, Admiral?" The familiar irritating tone asked as he leaned against the door. He shut his eyes and tried to ignore the question. "You can't ignore me forever, Admiral Calavicci." Al shook his head grimly. "Ziggy, please. I don't want to talk now. I need to calm down before I go back to see Sam again." Al's words came out between his teeth. "Should I tell Tina you're back?" Ziggy's tone was softer knowing that it didn't take much to set the Admiral off when he was in a bad mood. That was one of the things she had learned the hard way but that in of itself wouldn't stop her though. "Please." Al moved away from the door as a woman with long brown hair approached him from the Central Control Room. Al looked into her hazel eyes and could see the concern in them. "Watch out, Dr. Alisi. The Admiral is . . ." "I understand, Ziggy." Dr. Alisi opened her arms to Al and gave him a long, warm hug. "You look like you needed one of these." She explained while in the embrace. "It's times like these when I understand why Sam loves you. You know exactly what to do, don't you?" He asked as he pulled away from the embrace. Donna didn't respond to his question, but the thought ran through her mind, 'Then why can't I bring my husband back home?' Pushing her thoughts behind her, she focused her attention back to Al. "You fought." Al nodded at her statement. Donna's lips pursed knowing how difficult it was to fight with Sam. "You did the right thing. I observed the conversation too. There was nothing else you could do." She wrapped her arm around Al's shoulder and walked with him down the ramp into the room where Ziggy's mainframe power board was. Her power board resembled multi-colored cubes put together in a haphazard way. Cubes were stacked at different levels but they all served a purpose. "You had to tell him. He had to know." Al regarded the round circular disk on the ceiling as the bright blue-light flickered through it. Even after six years, it astonished Al that Sam made a parallel hybrid computer -- one that learned and grew from that knowledge. "Ziggy?" "Yes, Admiral?" She purred. "I'm sorry I snapped." "Apology accepted." Al shook his head slowly. He never thought that he would be apologizing to a computer; especially a computer with such a big ego. He grabbed Donna's hand and gave it a slight squeeze. "You're one hell of a woman." "Admiral, I do believe that Dr. Beeks may be having a problem." Ziggy replied quickly. Al looked at Donna wonderingly then back to the glowing blue disk on the ceiling. "What kind of problem?" "Jason Hughes has just woken up in an irrational state." "Aw, shit." Al quickly marched through the Central Control Room and down a corridor to the door that went into the Waiting Room, a room where they kept their visitors. He opened it to see Dr. Beckett's body straining against the straps that they added to the bed only this morning. They had to sedate Jason because of the shock and alarm he had when he arrived. At the moment though, he wasn't in shock -- he was furious. Al padded over to the bed; as Sammy Jo Fuller, Dr. Beeks assistant, approached the patient from the other side. "It's okay, you're all right. You're safe." Al watched as the young woman's hand came up to comb the hair away from her eyes. It was the same movement that her father made. He miserably contemplated when they were going to be able to tell her that her father was the man before her -- the man she was soothing. She was genetically a Beckett as a result of one of the many leaps into her mother's life. "No!" The voice cried out making both Al and Sammy Jo jump. Al made himself look down at his friend's body knowing that someone else's soul was inside. "Jason!" Al barked out the name letting his rank emerge. Sam's head jerked around to Al. His face showed signs of fear and anger -- the latter that only a few had shown thus far. "You're keeping me here against my will. I will not be a part of whatever you're doing." Jason continued to fight against the straps. 'To late, kiddo,' Al thought miserably. "We're doing the best we can to get you outta here. We're trying our best to get you home." With his little speech said, Al relaxed somewhat as he looked into his best friend's green eyes. "Home?" Jason relaxed noticeably against the restraints. "Yes, home. You've got to relax and calm down or we won't be able to let you out of bed. Can you calm down?" "I don't know." Jason admitted reluctantly. He looked around the large room. From where he was lying, he could see the desk where a black woman sat watching him in the right hand corner of the room. To the left, he saw a flight of stairs leading up the wall to the upper deck with double-sided glass that extended across the length of the room. He glanced at Sammy Jo, then to Al, then to the woman at the desk who had administered the sedative earlier. "Just no more sedatives, okay?" Al followed his gaze to find Dr. Verbeena Beeks behind her desk. Their eyes met and he silently questioned her about the sedatives. She nodded reluctantly. "We can arrange it but it's only if you can control yourself." Sam's body relaxed more and he nodded his head. "Can I please get out of these?" He motioned at the restraints with his head as he raised his arms as far as he could. Al glanced up at Sammy Jo and nodded only to see her grin at her father. She released the straps and slowly helped him sit up on the bed. "Would you like something to drink?" Jason swallowed and nodded. "A coke would be fine." Sammy Jo scurried off to retrieve the drink; leaving Al alone with their patient as she usually did so they could talk. "Can I ask you a few questions?" Al asked as Sammy Jo walked away. "It's a free country." Al watched amazed as the man before him ran his hand through his hair. He had seen Sam do it so many times it was unnerving when someone could mimic it so precisely. "Well, what can you tell me about Margaret Dawson?" Al patted the pockets of his coat. He needed a cigar. Once he found one, he slyly glanced over at Verbeena who frowned. Ignoring her, he opened his silver lighter and lit his cigar. Jason watched the older man before him with a slight grin. He then said, "Maggie? Well, she's a fellow senior in school -- very intelligent and hard working. She's . . . why? Why do you want to know?" Jason looked hard at Al trying to see through any possible lies. Al noticed the nickname. He had to be someone close to even use the name. Instead of being aloof, Al came straight to the point. "She's in trouble and we need your help to help her." "Trouble? What kind of trouble?" Jason sat up straighter. Not wanting to answer, Al just simply asked another question. "Do you think that Margaret's the type of person who would commit suicide?" "Suicide?" Jason's eyes widened. "No, never. I know she'd had a hard time for the past six years but she's never let on that she's that way. A few months ago, my twin died. I really had a hard time coping and my mother mentioned this group therapy session that could help me. I saw Maggie there." "So, you all ready knew her." Jason's face tilted a moment as a grin made its way onto his features. "Well, yeah. Like I told you, she's a fellow senior at school. Course I knew her." He didn't want to admit it to this guy exactly how much he really cared for Maggie. One bushy eyebrow arched upward as Al watched the young man before him. "How well did you know Margaret?" Al could see through the kid's look on his face. But he had to find out all he could for Sam. The young man fiddled with his hands in his lap and became suddenly interested in them. He fell silent for a long moment. "Jason?" Al prodded. Jason jumped at the prodding. He closed his eyes then looked at the older man and gave in. "Well . . .I've known her since the seventh grade. I wanted to ask her out but I was afraid that we weren't compatible. You know -- she's a brain, I'm a jock. But this year, at the group session, I learned a lot about her. She's not just some geek with brains as half of the senior class thinks. She's actually pretty cool." "Sounds like you really like her." Al commented offhandedly. "Actually, I love her." Jason blurted out as Sammy Jo reappeared with a coke in her hand and handed the open container to Jason. Jason's eyes grew wide as if he was surprised that he had said such a thing. "Here you go." She said with a soft slight southern accent. Jason slightly grinned as he took the can from her. "Thanks." He said softly. He took a huge gulp of liquid and gasped as the fizz hit his throat. He coughed and looked impishly toward the man beside him. "Who are you and where am I? I think I deserve to know." The young man who was inside Sam Beckett's body was curious of his surroundings and the people around him. "Kiddo, I really can't . . ." "You are in a safe place, a place where you won't be hurt or . . . experimented on. I promise. As for who he is," Sammy Jo glanced at Al with a wry smile. "He's a friend, and you can call him Al." Sammy Jo placed her hand on her father's arm and gave it a slight squeeze. Jason gazed into the young woman's eyes and believed her. Tricked so many times before, he wondered if he should believe her. Yet something inside him told him to believe. Al grinned slightly seeing how Sammy Jo Fuller reacted with others -- the same way her father did. Sam was great with one-on-one relationships, but when it came to a group he felt dumbfounded. Al nodded reaffirming her statement of safety then turned and walk away. "Al." Hearing Sam's voice sent chills through Al's skin. Al turned back to the boy with a questioning glance. "Are you trying really hard to get me back home?" Al could almost see both his friend and the frightened eighteen-year old at the same time. He had to swallow hard to keep his emotions in cheek. "More than you know, kiddo. More than you know." He then turned and walked away from the couple letting them talk quietly to each other. When he reached the door, he looked back to see Sam smile. "More than you know." He repeated softly to himself. Al opened the door then went directly to the corridor that would lead to his room. His footsteps echoed around him. He approached his office and frowned as his eyes fell on the lettering on the door across the hall. It read: Dr. Sam Beckett Genius at Work Feeling more depressed than angry; Al opened the door to Sam's office. It was neat and tidy, as always. Al looked around the office and noticed that Sam had never put up his doctorate certificates on the wall. He remembered how Sam had said that he didn't want anyone to feel inferior around him. When Al had asked about the door, he had replied that since Verbeena had some letter heading on her door, that he deserved some too. He looked toward Verbeena's office down the hall and smiled. He could just barely make out the lettering as the corridor curved. It read: Verbeena Beeks MD, P.H.D., NBA The Doctor Is Always In He shook his head. NBA stood for No Bullshit Allowed. Al ran his hand through his black hair and down his cheek as he looked back into Sam's office. He sighed heavily and slowly closed the door as he thought about the sudden changes that had been happening at the Project. In the four years that Sam had been leaping, things had been constantly changing in the life's of the people that worked at Project Quantum Leap. There had been times when he had lost Tina to Gooshie, when people had disappeared and reappeared later. But everytime that Sam had finally put right what had once been wrong, things at the Project seemed to run like clockwork again. Things got back to normal. The first time something had changed it had sent him for a loop. He had to undergo intense therapy sessions with Verbeena. It happened when Sam leapt into an English professor that taught at the same college that Donna Alisi attended in 1971. Knowing Donna on sight, Sam set out to save their lost love. He succeeded. When Al stepped back into 1995, he had stopped short when Donna appeared before him. He could remember her not showing up at their wedding -- leaving Sam standing at the altar alone. At the same time, he remembered blushing when Donna gave him a full kiss at their wedding reception. It was things like that, that made Al think that things were slowly changing in their lives. He continued down the corridor needing to relax. 'Maybe Tina has something in mind that could relax me ever so much more than a hug,' he thought to himself as he moved his eyebrows up and down seductively.