From: "M. Cogburn" Date: Sat, 5 Dec 1998 13:50:45 -0600 Subject: Portraits Of The Past, Part 13 Chapter Thirteen March 29, 1996 Margaret sat in her fourth period class day-dreaming. Her thoughts switched back and forth among four men. Namely, Dr. Samuel Beckett, Jason Hughes, Brian Watson and Jon-Bob Wallace. Jason Hughes, of course, the boy that she had always longed after and had a major crush on. Brian Watson, the boy who she was beginning to like more and more each day now that they sat together at lunch. Jon-Bob Wallace, the boy who had been her best friend for the past two years. And then there's Dr. Samuel Beckett, a man who not only was attractive, was staying in her apartment and was in her bed the other night. All four kept her mind busy. "Margaret?" There was no response. "Margaret?" Margaret sat in her desk still looking at the floor as she thought about the men that had her in such a tizzy unaware that her name was being called. Her mind was filled with each person and their qualities. One had everything she wanted however he didn't know she existed. One whom she was learning about through conversations at lunch; another, a best friend who'd help her out of tough situations and the last one, well, he had his own set of qualities that she admired as well as a handsome package. "Margaret?" Margaret's thoughts fizzled as she finally heard her name called. She looked around the room only to find it empty. Mr. Bellmead stood before her with a frown. "Are you okay?" "Yes sir." Margaret closed her books and gathered them together. "I'm sorry, Mr. Bellmead. I've had a lot on my mind lately." "That's all right. I know that you all ready know the information that we covered today. Just don't make it a habit." "Yes sir." Margaret stood and walked out of the room only to sit on the floor and pull out a piece of paper. Once she found a pen in her purse, she began to write. She had once been told that if you write out your problems, you may find how to solve them. She decided to write it in the form of a letter. Sam, I don't actually know what is happening to me, but I'm starting to have feelings for you. Ever since you showed up, I've felt that there was something pulling us together. Maybe I'm just losing my mind or just being a boy-crazed teenager, but it's how I feel. I don't know if I can stand . . . Margaret looked at the letter she was writing then quickly wadded the paper in her hands. Too sophomoric and silly. She would have to tell him in person. She stood and gathered her things once more then walked to the lunch room with her shoulders sagging. She didn't know what to say or do. When she entered the lunchroom, Billy came over to her with a smile. "Hey!" "Hi, Billy." "Want to sit with me and Jason today?" Billy asked as he bit his bottom lip. Margaret looked over to the place where she sat with Brian the other day only to see Brian smile at her and wave. "I would love to, but I all ready have promised someone else. Sorry." "No problem." Brian said with a smile but Margaret could tell by his eyes that he was a little hurt. "We still have a date, don't we?" Margaret asked trying to make the conversation less of a let down. "Yeah." Brian smiled genuinely. "Can't wait until tomorrow." Margaret smiled back at him then turned to go to sit with her lunch partner. Billy, however, turned to sit back down and was joined by Sam. "So, tomorrow's the big night, isn't it?" Billy said as he looked at Sam with a grin. "Don't remind me. I'm thinking that I should just call it off. I broke up with her and I don't want to lead her on." Sam responded lightly. "I know what you mean." "Good marrow, Margaret." Billy said mimicking a line from the movie, Taming Of The Shrew. "Brian." Margaret said as she sat down before him. "How are you, today?" Margaret could tell that his jaw was swollen and where he had all ready began to bruise from the punch Sam had given him. She clicked her tongue and held out her hand to rub her fingers slightly over the bruise. "Better than last night." Billy said as he moved back from her fingers. Although her caress was tender, it was still very tender and soar. "How did the portrait turn out?" "Just fine. I told you that last night, didn't I?" Brian thought for just a moment. "Well, I guess you did. Oh, did I tell you last night about what happened with David and his party?" "No." She set down her books and looked at him inquisitively. "Well, I have this band and he asked us to play for his party tomorrow night. Isn't that great? I mean, we actually have a gig." Brian said excitedly. "That's wonderful." Margaret said as she pulled out the sandwich she had made herself this morning. She had always wanted to be in a band, but not being a socialite or a very popular person, she'd never have a chance. She smiled pleased for him and took a bite of her sandwich. "Hey, you're in the choir, aren't you?" Margaret looked concerned about what he was going to ask her to do. "Yes, why?" "Well, why don't you join us. We could use another lead singer." He raised his eyebrows and began to grin as he gave the suggestion. Although she was delighted in being asked, she replied, "Oh, Brian, I'm not sure that the other members in your band would appreciate me butting in. Anyway, Billy all ready has asked me to go to the party with him. He asked me a day ago. If he hadn't I probably would have taken you up on the offer." Margaret replied almost saddened that she couldn't sing with him. She would have enjoyed it. "You could still sing with us at the party. Yeah . . ." Brian began forming the idea in his head and he came to the conclusion that he liked the idea. "Yeah . . . look, you can go with him and sometime in the party you can come up to the band and sing with us. I bet he wouldn't mind that. I know I wouldn't." Margaret mulled over the idea and frowned about to shoot the idea down. She didn't know what Billy would say about that. Plus, she didn't now either. Billy was her first date in a long time and she didn't want to blow it. "Before you say no, let me just tell you this. I would really love it if you would sing with us. Please?" Brian folded his hands together before her and placed himself in a begging position with a pitiful, puppy dog face. Margaret sighed and realized that she didn't really have a choice. She couldn't say no after his begging. Well, she could but it wouldn't be nice. So, she decided in the affirmative. "Oh, all right. But you have to remember that I'm on a date and that I can't sing for very long." "Okay." Brian smiled genuinely. He reached over across the table and slightly hit her chin with his fist. "You're a doll." "Oh, go on." She replied as she picked up her sandwich to take a another bite. New Mexico, 1999 Jason was lying on the bed looking up into the sparkling light blue that surrounded the room. He was exhausted. Since he was having the nightmares, he decided that he wasn't going to sleep for a while. He couldn't sleep. Sleep brought back dreams. Dreams turned into nightmares. Nightmares turned into death. The concept of death startled him. He hadn't handled it well when it had taken his younger (two minutes younger) twin brother. He had gone into a state of denial, denying his brother's death and eventually he had gone silent for two months. That was when they sent him to the therapy sessions. That was when Margaret helped him out of his misery. 'Everything comes back to Margaret,' he thought as he sat up in the bed. His head bowed slightly and his hands came to his face. He rubbed his forehead then ran both hands through his hair. "Ziggy?" "Yes, Jason?" Ziggy chimed. "Does Dr. Beeks have anything to knock me out -- something just to make me sleep? Not dream, just sleep?" Jason asked in a tone that was unfamiliar to Ziggy. "What's wrong, Jason?" Jason heard the alarm in Ziggy's smooth voice. "I need to sleep. Please, get Dr. Beeks." Although Jason couldn't hear if Ziggy was calling Dr. Beeks or not, he was sure that Ziggy would help him. Sammy Jo told him that Ziggy could help him if needed. All he had to do was ask. A moment later, Dr. Beeks came in with a syringe in one hand and a vial of serum in the other. "Ziggy tells me that you can't sleep. Is this true?" Jason looked down as he was caught in a form of a lie. "I can sleep, but I dream. And I don't want to. Please, Dr. Beeks, I don't want to dream. I just want to sleep." Verbeena understood as she always had when patients couldn't handle the stress of being in the future. She took the serum vial, turned it upside down, and began to load the syringe to the right dosage. "This will be the only time. You do understand this, don't you?" Jason raised his head as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I just want to sleep without her death on my head." Verbeena nodded slightly then un-zipped the body suit he was wearing so that she could find a spot on his arm to inject the serum. "This is very strong." Once she found the spot, she injected it into his body. As she stepped back from him, she asked, "Okay?" Jason nodded them laid back on the bed with a sigh. "Thank you, Dr. Beeks." Verbeena smiled a welcome then turned to leave. As she walked away, she heard Jason begin to talk to Ziggy again. "You're pretty cool, Ziggy. Dr. Beckett did a good job making you. You're quality material." "I'd like to think so." Ziggy drawled. Verbeena smiled as she heard Jason giggle. He was smiling at least. A great improvement in the last twenty-four hours. The door opened and she continued on her way. "That's what I like about you. Your ego, your attitude, your . . . your . . ." The serum was all ready beginning to work. His eyelids were getting heavy and his words were beginning to slur. "Sex appeal?" Ziggy questioned. Jason smiled as he closed his eyes. "If a computer can have sex appeal, you . . . have . . . it . . . ." "Hey, there big boy." A pair of perfectly manicured hands slid in front of Sam's eyes. He didn't have to guess who it was. He knew. "Hello, Jessica." He pulled her hands down from his face and pushed them away. Jessica, however, leaned down and gave him a kiss as the rest of the boys around the table snickered. "See you tomorrow night." She whispered huskily into his ear. "Oooh, she's got the hots for you, Sam. Its' not fair, you get all the girls that want it and you're a choir boy." Al replied as he watched her walk away. Sam knew he couldn't say anything so he just made a face at Al. "If only I was eighteen again." Al remarked hotly as he watched a group of girls walk by in tight jeans. Sam rolled his eyes and sighed. He hated it when Al did this. Albert Calavicci represented one end of the hormonal/sexual spectrum while Sam Beckett represented the other end. One, a hot blooded scoundrel with raised hormones while the other was an honor bound choir boy and boy scout. "I remember when I was eighteen. I was on the move and hot for a sweet young girl named Natalie. Brown hair, gorgeous green eyes, hot red lips and the best set of . . ." "So," Sam said quickly cutting into Al's sentence not wanting to know what the best set was of. "Have you talked to Margaret?" Billy looked up at him from his food and grinned. "I asked her to sit with us but she all ready promised someone else." "Oh." "We still have our date though." "Well, that's good." Sam said although inside he knew he wanted to take her. The more he thought about Margaret the more the feelings grew for her. He found himself looking over toward Margaret. He watched as she talked; smiled. He liked the way her eyes sparkled when she smiled. He could see she had a fire in her eyes and he didn't want anyone to smolder it. As he watched, her gaze locked with his. He wanted to look away but didn't. He grinned. Margaret gazed back at him and cocked her head to the side, then slowly grinned back. One single thought caused a wonderful giddy feeling in her stomach. 'A look across a crowded room.' She quickly looked away and stood. She said something to Brian with a smile then walked away. Sam watched her as she walked through the cafeteria. He felt conspicuous watching her but he couldn't help it. The more he watched her, the more the feelings grew. Al watched Sam with a frown. He wasn't sure exactly what Sam was thinking, but he knew the look. He knew Sam was falling for Margaret. He knew it more than he knew Tina's body. "Sam . . ." Al began. Sam broke his gaze from Margaret to look at Al with an innocent look. His expression made Al remember his first wife. He remembered the same puppy-dog look he received from Tina when she wants her way. It was the same look that Sam gave him. "I know that look Sam." Al replied looking at Sam warily. "And this is not good." Sam looked back at Margaret as she opened the cafeteria door and left the room. He suddenly remembered the portrait she had made of him. He wondered how she felt about him. His mind reviewed the events since he had arrived only to come to one conclusion -- 'She must hate me'.