From: charles@sideshow.eecs.umich.edu (Charles J. Cohen) Newsgroups: alt.ql.creative Subject: Roundtable A: #10 "Reflections" Date: 18 Jul 1994 17:16:00 GMT Organization: University of Michigan AI Lab Message-Id: <30edcg$41n@zip.eecs.umich.edu> Title: Reflections Author: Charles J. Cohen Date: April 1st, 1962 Place: SilverLake, MI Al was bewildered. He was standing knee deep in a small lake, his coral suit perfectly dry. There was no one in sight, no movement, no wind, no sound. Only three small cottages on a beautiful, cloudless summer day and not a sign of Sam. Just as he was about to punch the buttons on the handlink and return to the Imaging Chamber to complain to Gooshie about this obvious mistake, he heard a sputtering and coughing, and looked back in time to see Sam's head break the surface of the water, his arms flailing. "Help, I can't swim. "Sure you can, you---" Suddenly a woman ran out of the nearest cottage, stopped only to scream "Help, my baby's drowning!" and plunged into the water. "Oh boy," Al whispered. "Al!" Sam gasped, "help me!" Sam was still flailing around in the water, stunned as always by the after effects of leaping. Al looked down at his friend and shook his head, smiling. "Sam...stand up." Putting his unlit cigar in his mouth, Al grinned as his friend stopped thrashing around and realized that yes, indeed, he could stand easily in the knee deep water. "Good Sam. Now say to the woman behind you 'I am fine Mom, I just slipped.'" Looking confused at Al, Sam starts to ask what he's talking about when he's interrupted by a middle aged woman who almost pushes him back into the water, "My baby! Are you alright! Let your mother look at you!" Instinct took over as Sam turned to the woman and said, "Mom, I'm not a 'baby' anymore." He looked over at Al, a question on his face asking "I'm not, am I Al?" "No Sam. Your not. You are 18 years old, a fresh young man..." Al whaps the side of his hand link, which emits a loud squeal, "Oh, I mean, a freshman at NYU. Your name is ... ugh, Egbert Collings, and your Mother's name is Mary Collings. Egbert's father has been dead for ten years. Stall while I get more information." Egbert's mom was fussing over Sam, pushing his hair out of his eyes, "I told you not to go in the lake. Why can't you be more careful, you know how I worry about you!" "I'll try," Sam sighs, talking to both him 'mom' and to Al. Dripping from all the water, "Can we just go back to the house so I can dry off." It seemed like Mom was just ignoring Sam, although she did steer him back to the cottage, fussing over him like a hen, "You really must be more careful, Egbert. I'm the only one here taking care of you, and I can't watch over you all the time...." "Actually, she does, Sam. This woman has never left her son alone for a minute. Going off to college was the best thing that has happened to him. I'll catchup with you inside. I want to check on Eg...the kid, and see how he's doing without Mommy." Pressing a few buttons, the imaging chamber door opens. Sam glanced back as Al stepped into the door. "Don't leave me..." he said softly. Try as he might, Sam could never see though the door, could never get a small glimpse of the world he left behind. "Don't worry dear, I'll never leave you." Sam sighed as Egbert's mom led him across the porch and into the house. The next few hours weren't particularly pleasant for Sam. Not as bad as when he was being shot at, he reflected. And at least he wasn't a girl this time, with all of those added complications. All he had to do here was say, "Yes, Mom" and "No, Mom" and "I'll get to it today, Mom" and "School is fine Mom" and "Of course I've missed you Mom." He figured he could just set up a tape recorder for his responses. That would solve most of the problems. And where was Al, anyway? Sam realized that Al forgot to tell him the year. Judging from the furniture, it had to be the late 50s. He'd find a paper later. At least now, in his room, he had some time to himself while him 'mom' made dinner. Al joined Sam during dinner, and of course was his ever helpful self, bursting with information about Sam's current leap. "Oh, Sam, you get to eat meat loaf! And string beans! My my my, aren't you the lucky one today!" Sam gave Al a look that was as clear as A's sarcasm. Al couldn't help smiling as Egbert's Mom kept critizing Sam's posture and eating habits all throughout dinner. It was a wonder the woman had any time to eat with all of the talking she did. After another round of "Yes Mom" and "No Mom" Sam finally whispered, "Would you mind telling me what I'm doing here?" "You are here to clean off your plate, young man! I know for a fact you don't eat well during school, and you are going to clean off your plate before you get any dessert!" Chuckling to himself, Al finally answered Sam, "To be honest, Ziggy doesn't know. I have my own theory, though." After seeing Sam's questioning look, he adds, "I think you're here to give our good friend Egbert a vacation from his mom." "Al!" Mom looked up quickly at Sam's loud remark. Sam quickly added, "I'll ... always want to finish my plate for you, Mom." Satisfied, she actually stayed quiet and went back to eating her own food. "I'm serious Sam, Ziggy has no idea. She running through all the possibilities and probabilities she can, but so far we've only got a 14% chance that your supposed to make sure Mother Teresa here doesn't take you shopping tomorrow." Sighing, Sam finishes his meal and asks to be excused to go to bed. "But it is only 6:30!" "I know, but I'm tired. This is the first chance I've had to sleep in...years" The woman just shakes her head, "Well, if you want. I just don't understand you sometimes. I'll be up to tuck you in later...." Sam didn't even look back as he said, "Great Mom...thanks...a lot." Sam was lying back on Egbert's neat and proper bed. It went very well with the neat and proper dresser, the neat and proper bookshelves with their neat and proper books that young boys should read in order to grow up to be neat and proper, and the neat and proper wall paper. The only thing that wasn't neat and proper was the holographic observer who was puffing on a cigar, exhaling holographic smoke all over the room. "Al, do you have anything yet?" Al looked a bit depressed, but also strangely relaxed. "I'm afraid not Sam. We really can't figure out why you are here. Ziggy can't find anything for you to do here except to eat all of your vegetables. Ziggy does worry about you, you know." "I know Al, I know. I can't believe that you don't have any sort of lead anywhere. Hmmm, how is Egbert doing?" "Actually Sam, he is terrified. Dr. Beeks is looking at him. He is afraid that his Mom is gonna kill him for running away. He is really under her thumb right now. Dr. Beeks is doing her best though." Sam closes his eyes. "Al, you have to get me out of here." "Why?" "Huh?" "Yeah, Sam. Why?" "Because...I don't know what I'm doing, and I don't like it here." Sam starts looking for some reasons. Al looks down at his friend, "Sam, think about it a moment." He starts puffing some more on his cigar and turns serious, "Is this really such a bad leap? No one is chasing you. No one wants to kill you. You might even get to relax for once. When was the last time you got to just relax?" Through his swiss cheesed memories, Sam could not recall a time when he could relax. "No Al. Then again, I don't know when I was last myself, except when I did leap into myself." He smiles, for the first time in a long time. Sam folds his hands behind his head and tries to let his muscles loosen, "I'm not sure if I remember how to relax, though." Al nods and smiles, "I'm sure you'll remember." He gets up, "Well, I'll go check in on Eg...the kid." Sam leans up, "Wait a moment, Al. Do you have to go?" Hand over the com link, Al stops, "Well, I guess not. Vebreena probably doesn't want me butting in anyway, and Tina isn't around...why?" "Because, well, you are right. I never get to relax. And we never get to talk. Just talk, I mean. We're always rushing around, trying to save someone or get me out of a bad situation. We never talk about each other in general. Can you stay...and just...talk?" Sitting back down, Al relites his cigar, "Sure Sam." He leans back and adds, "What do you want to talk about?" Sam ponders that question for a moment. "Actually, it is actually nice to just, well, be with you here without rushing around. Hmmm, I've always wondered though. Am I getting old?" "What do you mean Sam? We all age." "Do I, Al? I don't know that for certain. I haven't seen my own reflection in ...ages." "Ah...well, yes Sam. You are aging. I can't tell if it has slowed down or anything, but you do have a few more lines on your face. Tina thinks you are still cute, so don't worry." Smiling, Sam says, "Thanks Al. That also reminds me. How are Tina, Gooshie, Vebreena, and all the rest taking my leaping around? Are they mad at me for just going off like that?" "At first we were all pretty mad. Uh, including me Sam. I didn't show it, but I was very upset that you would throw your life away like that...without even checking with me first." "I'm sorry Al...really sorry. But, you know how I feel. And after all this time, you must realize that what I did was right." Al shakes his head, almost getting angry, "No I don't Sam. I don't have to realize anything. You left. We needed you, and I needed my best friend still." He grabs his cigar, almost crumbling it in his hand. "You think you have it bad every time you leap? How about me...I can't..." "Al..." "No Sam, let me say this. I can't even pull you back here, can't even open a door or yell for help. Sam, I can't even swat a fly next to you. All I can do is observe, and listen to you tell me that you won't do what I suggest. Do you have any idea how helpless that makes me feel." He gets up and paces around the room, walking through the desk and chairs, not caring. Turning back to Sam, he says, "And I don't like feeling helpless." Sam laid there quietly, listening. He knew this, he understood all that Al said, but he never knew he was this upset. "Al, I'm sorry." He knew it wasn't enough, "We went through this in the beginning, and you know I had to do take that first leap. I didn't realize I hurt everyone so much." "Well, you did. And it gets hard when you are always complaining about these leaps, when in fact it is your fault that it started. I want you back, we all do, but yes, it does get very hard sometimes watching you from a distance like this." Al looks intently at Sam. "You know, I envy you." "You do?" Sam doesn't even bother to hide the surprise in his voice. "Yes Sam, I do. And so does Ghooshie, and Tina, and especially Vebreena." He sits down again and continues, "You really don't know how lucky you are, with all the experiences you had, all the people you have met. Heck Sam, all the people you have been! Not to mention all the women you've seen..." "Al..." "Seriously Sam. Most people don't even live their one life to the fullest. You get to experience dozens." They sat in silence for while as the shadows darkened into night. Two friends just happy to have a moments peace together. "Al...I've often wondered this. What part of time would you like to visit? I mean, nothing to do with you, me, your wives, friends, or anything. What would you like to see, to observe? Where would you like me to leap?" Al chuckles as he smoothly reaches for another cigar. "I always dreamed of going to the moon. If you were Armstrong, or someone else on the first Apollo mission, well, that would be as good as anything." He presses some buttons on the com link, which squeals loudly, "Ziggy says she will erase herself if you try to leap to the moon." Both men start laughing together, and a voice yells from outside the door, "Egbert, what are you laughing about?" "Nothing Mom! Just thought of something funny," Sam replies, rolling his eyes. Both Sam and Al relax as they hear the footsteps going back downstairs. "Who would you want to be, Sam?" Sam thought about that for a while, for the first time since he started leaping. "It really isn't who I want to be, Al, it is who I want to meet. I would love to sit in on a semester of Feynman's advance lectures, or talk to Turing about our friend Ziggy. Things like that." Sighing wistfully, he says, "But instead I get stuck in places like this. Although, you are right, I've experienced things I've never thought I'd be able to. I seem to recall being pregnant once. What ever happened to the baby? Do you keep track of the people I've leaped into?" "All the time Sam. We keep records on what they've done throughout their lives, and Ziggy tries to find patterns between your leaps. She seems to think that maybe your leaps aren't so random, that they are working towards fixing some major problem. But Ziggy won't say more. I wish you would have built her with a switch that would make her obey me." A loud squeal erupts and is ignored by Al. "You know I can't tell you specifically how they turn out, but some turn out okay, some don't. Most do, Sam. You make a difference." "I know....I know. Thanks Al." "For what, Sam?" "Just thanks." Al stands up, "Get some sleep kid. We'll figure out tomorrow what you have to do leap." Al was wrong. The next day was anything but easy for Sam. They didn't figure out what Sam had to do to leap, although Al and Ziggy did have plenty of ideas. Ziggy's first recommendation came right before Sam and Egbert's mother's went out for some food shopping. "Sam, we don't have much to go on, but there is a five percent chance that if you don't tie your shoe laces, you will leap!" "Al...are you sure?" "No, I'm not sure. That is the best Ziggy can do." Sam did as Al suggested, but all he got was his "mother" yelling at him to tie his shoelaces before he broke his neck. The rest of the day wasn't much better. It was a constant run around, with Al giving brilliant advice at the food market, such as: "Sam, quick, buy that brand of toilet paper!" "There is a two and a half percent chance that you have to walk down isle three instead of isle two." "Quick Sam! Ziggy gives you a three percent chance on leaping if you ask Egbert's Mom to buy some potato chips!" By the end of the afternoon, Egbert's Mom was certain her son had gone insane, and Sam was equally certain that Ziggy had. After dinner Sam said he was tired and was going to go to bed early. It gave him another opportunity to tell Al how happy he was with this leap. "Al, you and Ziggy are driving me crazy! Can't you figure out why I'm here? A reason that has better than a five percent certainty?" Al sat down, and it looked like he was actually sitting on one of the chairs in the room. "Sorry Sam. I do have some good news though. Vebreena is coming along nicely with Egbert. He is finally starting to get some backbone and she thinks he'll be able to deal with his Mom soon. That is, if she doesn't break his spirit as soon as she leaps out." Leaning up on his elbows, Sam gets a little excited, "Al, maybe that's it! Maybe I just have to convince his Mom to allow Egbert some independence. That won't be easy, but..." Al shakes his head, "No Sam. I checked on that. According to Ziggy, trying to convince her will just make her come down harder on the kid." "I have to try Al." Getting up, Sam moves towards the door, "I can't go through this leap with just five percent chances. Besides, I've been right before, haven't I?" In his haste, Sam doesn't hear Al's response, "Yes Sam, but you've been wrong before too... A few hours later Sam was back in Egbert's room, talking to Al. "You were right Al, I think I made it worse. She wants to send me to the doctor tomorrow because I've been acting strange and talking back too much." Sam flops on the bed, looking almost defeated. "I almost want to give up. I don't know why I'm here, or how to help this family." "Don't give up Sam, we'll think of something. We always do." "Do we Al? I've always been impressed with how you've stuck through this with me. I don't know what I'd do without you. But I think you've known that." He opens his eyes and looks at Al, "I've never really had the chance to tell you that before though. Thanks." "Uh Sam...I think I should tell you. I did give up on you, once. There was no reason to tell you before, because it didn't effect anything. And there really is no reason to tell you now." Al leans back in the chair, and stares at the ceiling for a bit. "Except to get it off my chest." "Tell me, Al." "It was a few years ago. It doesn't really matter what the leap itself was. After you leaped out, you didn't leap back in for several weeks. The whole lab was frantic and worried, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I told Tina and Gooshie I was just going to take a little vacation, but I knew that it wasn't going to be little. I wanted it permanent. I just got in my car and drove. I drove for about thirty hours without sleeping, and basically ended up in a bar somewhere in Nowheresville. I was drinking myself stupid when a waitress pulled me out of my stupor, got me sober, and just listened to me. It was strange, she didn't even know who I was. But...I knew her. She was someone you helped Sam. She would have died years ago if it weren't for you, and now she's helping other people out. We rarely get to see the good that we've done Sam. You did with your brother. I did with this one woman who was kind to a stranger." Al's handlink starts to squeal, "Sam! It seems that Egbert had a break...a break?" He whaps the handlink again, "Oh, no, not a break, a breakthrough! Vebreena thinks he's on his way to recovery. He just needs to stand up to his Mom just once to build up his courage." Sam quickly sits up on the bed, "But how Al? I tried talk..." Al winces as the familiar blue and white light flashes over Sam's body and he leaps, "Ziggy, bring me to Sam, now, the leap isn't finished yet!" Sam is smiling to himself. Usually he wouldn't, not when he finds himself in a really ugly housedress and his hair in curlers, but this time it finally all makes sense. He steadies himself in the familiar kitchen, the same kitchen where he argued with Egbert's Mom not ... he looks at the clock and smiles, "Ten minutes ago." "Sam, I know why you are here now! Ziggy gives a 99.4% chance that you have to..." "Loose an argument with Egbert, I know. He should be on his way now." It was strange for Sam to see Egbert walk in, all gangly and not to sure of himself. In all of his leaps, he rarely gets to see the leapee in their own body from a different view point. But there was no time to reflect, he had to put on his best glare and do his job. Later that night, Sam was in the mother's bedroom, ready for bed. "Al, why haven't I leaped yet?" Al couldn't help laughing to himself. How many times has he heard to same six words from Sam? "Well, you can leap anytime, Sam. But Vebreena is now working on Egbert's Mom. With Vebrena's help, Egbert and his Mom should have a better relationship in the future. You did Egbert a world of good, and he will grow up to be his own person and start his own printing company. He doesn't do to bad for himself, either." "So how long do I have to wait?" "Vebreena says she won't need much time. Perhaps a few hours, at the latest tomorrow night. Get some rest Sam. After all, when was the last time you went to sleep without a problem to think about?" "True Al, very true." He looks at his friend before closing his eyes, "Thanks Al. For everything." Al nods, his eyes getting soft, "Don't mention it kid. And don't worry we'll get you home." Later that night, while Sam slept, he leapt... Dizziness is common for Sam during the beginning of any leap-in, and by now he can handle a little disorientation. But this one was different, and he knew it right from the start. First, there was the noise. His slowly focusing eyes took in the sight of a football stand, with a crowd cheering and looking past him. Second, he had one hand on his hips and another in the air, holding a ball of something that he couldn't quite place. Third, he was falling...only a few inches, and he landed on his feet, but he did have to stop and recover his balance. "Give me an R!" It was a woman, no, girl, no...well, young woman in front of him, about ten or so yards away. She was jumping high into the air as all the girls in a row next to him yelled out "R!" Sam just looked around dumbfounded. He was in a football stadium, and all the girls in the row with him were wearing pink and green cheerleading uniforms. He cringed, and look down at himself, and sighed when he saw that he too was wearing the same short pink and green skirt the other girls were. "Give me an S" He looked at the pom-poms in his hand then back up at the leader of the group and heard the girls answer her, "S!" Sam just stood there, blinking his eyes, totally overwhelmed by the situation. "What does that spell?...TIGERS!!!!" At that mark, all the girls jumped high into the air! When they reached the ground, the continued to cheer, except for the leader who stormed over to Sam and looked him up and down, "What's the matter with you girl!! Why did you stop? Don't you know how to leap?" Sam rolls his eyes towards the sky and mutters, "Oh boy..."