From: AKulsum@aol.com Date: Sat, 2 Nov 1996 22:52:08 -0500 Message-ID: <961102225208_344623200@emout08.mail.aol.com> Subject: road 5/9 "The Road Taken" pt.V It was just exhausting. Grief could be so draining, for the therapist as much as for the mourner. Katrina seemed to use her grief as an excuse to give up on everything she'd worked for. Whoever had leaped Sam in so early had a reason for doing so, and Verbeena was convinced that was where she came in. Now she sat in the room, trying to find a way to convince the distraught woman that she couldn't give up on everything. "Katrina, have you given any thought to what I said earlier?" She nodded. "Why don't we try this....why don't you tell me about your children?" "Trudi was my daughter....she was such an angel. I just can't believe she's gone." Verbeena smiled at the woman, wondering why somewhere in the back of her mind that name was setting off warning bells. "What sort of things did she do?" "She used to color. She'd sit in the corner of the room for hours, just coloring. My son used to play games with her. She was so close to him. He always stuck up for her. She was....slow and she would always get teased about it, if you know what I mean." Verbeena nodded, trying to hear her over the sound of the warning bell that was getting louder by the minute. "I can remember looking out while the two of them played. Running outside....or hide and seek. That was always Trudi's favorite." A small smile crept across her face and it dropped abruptly. "But all that's gone now." "Why did you leave?" Verbeena asked. "It was my husband. We...didn't get along, especially after Trudi was born. He was always off doing something and leaving me with the kids. So I left him." "Well, your son's still alive." Katrina nodded. "Yes, but I have no idea the first way to go about finding him even if I could." "Katrina.....why should he suffer because you are too scared to face him? And if he's really alone, then he must need you all the more, right? Is he with family?" "The admiral told me he was in a orphanage," she said with an audible note of bitterness in her voice. *And how did he know that? He certainly didn't tell me, anyway.* Verbeena was going go have a long talk with him later. "Yeah, well, the admiral has a sore spot where orphanages are concerned. Please don't let him discourage you." "How am I ever going to find him? Oh....what have I done?" Verbeena was starting to have a creepy crawly feeling about all this. "Tell me about your son," she said cautiously. "My son?" She nodded. "Well....he's got a big heart. Very protective of Trudi.... He was also quite a trouble-maker when he put his mind to it." Katrina gave a little chuckle, lost in fond memories. "But I'd say that Al's about the best kid any mother could hope to have. I didn't deserve him." Verbeena couldn't speak. An invisible hand held her down and she gasped at the warning bell that had finally clicked the final piece into place. "Al?" she choked out. "What was your husband's last name?" Katrina looked at her curiously. "Are you okay?" Verbeena nodded. "It was Calavicci. He was Italian...." "Well....I think we've made considerable progress for the day. I hope you decide to find....your son. We'll talk again soon, but for now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some work to take care of." Katrina nodded and lifted her hand in a half-wave. *Oh yes, Admiral, a _very_ long talk.* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- She found him in the control room, acting as if it was business as usual. Well, she could play it cool, too. "Admiral.....is there anything I can do?" Al looked curiously at her. "No. You okay, 'Bena?" "Oh, I'm fine.....I was just wondering if _you'd_ like to talk or something. Maybe about Katrina?" She relished the look on his face until she realized just how upset he was. "How did you find out?" he whispered. She touched him lightly on the shoulder. "I'm sorry, Al. She....mentioned you. I do wish you had come to talk to me. Is this what's been bothering you lately?" Al nodded. "Can we go someplace private if you insist on talking about this?" She took his arm and pulled him into his office. "Al-" "Does she know?" he cut her off. "No....." she started, and then she seemed to wake up. "Goodness, no! Al, _I_ only found out myself a few moments ago when she let it slip that her daughter's name was Trudi and her son's name was Al. I hope you know better than to think that I would talk to her about that before talking to you first." He gave a sigh of relief. "Well, she's not going to find out either." "Al-" "No, listen Verbeena, I've been getting this around the clock from Sam, I don't need to hear it from you too. I am _not_ going to talk to her about this, is that clear?" He stormed out of his office and Verbeena sat down heavily in his chair. *He's so stubborn,* she thought. And then she began to give some thought as to what was better in the long run: for Katrina to meet her son, years older and very bitter, or for her to go back and try and find him there. She honestly didn't know which would be best for her, but she _knew_ what was best for Al in this case, and she knew she would have to figure something out.