Deja Vu

By:  M. J. Cogburn and C. E. Krawiec

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In the living room, Allen pulled his clothes on, making himself presentable.  Several minutes later he paused in his pacing about the silent room, his gaze going toward the hallway at the sound of his bedroom door opening.  Only when Siren appeared in the doorway, once more dressed, did Allen move.  Going to her, he started to reach for her, to hug her just to reassure her.  It was the look in Siren's eyes--not anger or accusation, more...regret than anything else--that prevented him.

"I'll take you home, now," was all he murmured quietly, gesturing with a gentle wave of one hand for her to precede him.

The brief trip from Allen's quarters to Siren's front door was accomplished in a mutual painful silence. Neither said anything as Siren unlocked the door.  Only when she stepped across the threshold and turned to face him did words come to Allen.

"I'm sorry, Siren," Allen said quietly.

Siren closed her eyes a moment at the soft apology, her head bowing slightly before lifting it again.  Opening her eyes, she offered him a sad, regretful smile. "So am I," she said softly.

An awkward moment hung between them but only for a moment.  The longer it existed the more painful this was going to be.

"Good night, Siren," Allen finally said, his tone quiet. Turning away, he headed for the elevators, not once looking behind him.  However, as he reached the corner at the end of the hall, he hesitated for a second at the sound of a door being closed.  Only for a second did he dwell on that sound before completing his journey back to his quarters...alone.

As Siren closed the door to her quarters she sighed heavily before immediately dropping to her knees crying almost instantaneously.  The sobs that wracked her body were rough and she let them overwhelm her - a rightful punishment for the damage she had caused to her relationship with the only man she had ever truly loved.

It was after a few moments that she realized a soothing pressure of a hand on her back and held soft murmurings that were being heard.  Wiping at her tears, Siren turned her head to see her father sitting beside her, the concern on his face quite plain.

"Siren?" he called to her once he was finally able to see her face.

"Oh Daddy," she cried out as tears continued to roll down her face.  "How could I almost do that to Trevor?"

The question was enough of an explanation to Xavier to not ask about what had occurred and what hadn't occurred.  As Xavier opened his arms to his daughter, holding her in his embrace as she cried, he was reminded by Lothos that his knowledge of Trevor Conroy's transgressions be kept silent.  His curt not was enough for the quasi-living computer to see and he petted his daughter's hair comfortingly.  He gently rocked her softly, keeping his tongue until he heard his daughter's rhythmic sleeping patterns.

Smiling at the reminder of her youth when she had fallen asleep beside him on the couch so many times before, Xavier continued to hold her and he sighed softly before he touched a kiss to the top of her head.

After he had held her for a solid twenty minutes, Xavier slowly moved, hating to wake her.  "Siren, come with me," he said softly and heard her moan slightly.  "Come on, you need to go to your bed."

Sleepy eyes opened and Siren slowly stirred before she made it off the floor and started toward her room.  Xavier put his arm around her back; guiding her only a little then drew back the covers as she lay down with all of her clothes on.  Giving a soft chuckle, he watched as she laid her head down on the pillow and sighed.  He came to her side, removing her shoes and placing them on the floor beside her bed, and then covered her up.  Looking at the alarm clock on her nightstand, he thought about setting it, and then declined the notion.  She still had a day before she was to report back to the Logistics sector and she needed her rest.  Leaning down, he kissed her cheek then softly padded out of the room.

Once away from her bedroom, Xavier sighed heavily as he sat down on the couch.  His gaze went to her closed bedroom door.  "I hope you can forgive yourself for your own indiscretions, Siren, because I don't know if you'll be able to forgive his."

"That makes two of us."  The words from Lothos reverberated throughout the residence making Xavier look up slightly.  "He'll have more than hell to pay from Commandant Roberts and Sergeant Donaldson.  He'll have Siren's and then, then he'll have mine."

For short while longer, Xavier didn't stir from the sofa, choosing instead to sit and think about how his relationship with his daughter...Lothos' daughter was moving steadily toward an inevitable change.  Such a change, he knew, all parents faced when their children prepared to step fully into control of their lives.  Yet, like all parents, he resolved to not let go until the moment came when Siren would no longer turn first to him. Finally...

"That time isn't here just yet," Xavier murmured softly at last. Glancing around the small living room, he sighed and stood up.  When his gaze came again to his daughter's bedroom door, he just stared for a moment then walked quietly to his own bedroom.  Getting back into bed, he turned off the bedside lamp then lay silent for a long while, staring up through the darkness toward the ceiling.  At last, slumber reclaimed him.  He had no way of knowing of another man's own inner confrontation about what had almost happened between himself and Siren not that long ago.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

By the time that Allen McAllister made it back to his quarters alone, he opened the door and was confronted with his own quarters, now seeming so void of anything and everything.  Swallowing down the urge to tear everything in his apartment apart, he slowly moved to his bedroom, stripping out of his clothes as he went, leaving them where ever they fell and lay down on his bed.

He turned onto his side and nestled his cheek against the pillow and was more than surprised when he could smell Siren's perfume.  He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent and found himself smiling from the smell. 

"No," he said immediately as he sat up in the bed, the mental picture of Siren in his arms, responding to his touch.  "No."

'Why not?' his conscious cautiously asked.  'She was willing and you just... let her go.'

"Shut up," Allen said simply and he plopped himself back down on the bed, his mind in a whirl over what he was thinking, his thoughts reliving how good she smelled, how she responded.  "No... I can't think about that anymore.  I can't..."

Yet admonishing himself not to think about what had almost happened didn't remotely have the effect Allen was hoping for.  He rolled and turned repeatedly on his bed, punched his pillow innumerable times but nothing helped.

Turning his head yet again to the right, Allen's gaze found the red numbers on the digital clock yet again; he groaned in weary frustration.  "I've got to get some sleep," he muttered.  Sighing, he closed his eyes for a moment then got out of bed and trudged to the bathroom.  There he mad short work of taking one of the generic sleeping pills he kept for those moments when sleep refused to come, then returned to bed.  Allen wasn't even aware when, some twenty minutes later, even the endlessly looping interior monologue was silenced as the sleeping pill took effect.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In the soft light cast only by the small bedside lamp, Allen looked into Siren's luminous blue eyes that were transfixing him.  There was nothing to hide any more yet...

"Siren," he whispered softly, vaguely aware of his heart thumping madly, his own passions growing as he gazed into her eyes.  The longing in those blue depths was plain.

"Turn out the light, Allen," Siren whispered.  The last question had been answered.

Allen turned out the light.

As soon as Allen came back to her side, Siren opened her arms and closed her eyes as Allen began placing kisses over her face, neck and slowly down her body, tantalizing her.  Her breathing increased as he touched her tenderly, carefully and lovingly.  Even as he felt her body responding to his touch, her back arching, her nails slightly digging into his arms, he whispered against her skin words that he hadn't uttered to anyone.

"Allen, please..." she whimpered softly as he came back up to her mouth, pausing long enough to kiss her passionately.

With his heart beating wildly in his chest, Allen McAllister sat up in the bed, his panting barely contained, his sheets saturated with sweat, he finally said the words that his mind had been urging to tell her.  "I love you, Siren," he whispered.   

Turning his head to the clock, he was surprised when he saw that he had slept in over three hours.  Wiping his brow, he moved to the edge of the bed and just sat there.  He shook his head to rid his mind of the dream that had awoken him.  He stood up and started toward the bathroom to get a shower when he heard a knock at the door. 

Crossing over to his closet, he grabbed his robe, and began to put it on as he exited his bedroom and started toward the door.  Making sure that it was fastened properly, he ran his hand through his hair then opened the door. 

He was more than surprised when the woman of his dreams, quite literally, was standing in front of him.  "Siren," he said her name softly a bit confused as to her presence outside his quarters. 

Siren cleared her throat and met his eyes.  "May I please come in?"

Allen immediately opened the door wider and watched as she walked over to his couch and stood before it.  He closed the door and slowly made his way over to where she stood. 

A tense silence filled the room as they stood in front of each other. 

'Tell her,' his conscious implored him.  'She's right there.  Just... tell her.'

"Allen, I..."

"I love you, Siren.  I don't know when it happened, how it happened, but I do."  He watched her reaction - slightly startled and she slowly sat down on the couch.  Moving to her side, Allen sat down beside her.  Turning to her, he rested his arm on the back of the couch.  "I probably shouldn't have just laid that one on you like I did, but I can't hide it anymore."

"Allen..."

"Look, I know how hard this is going to be at work, so I'll make it easy.  I'll ask for a transfer and..."

"No," Siren said simply.  "I'm not going to lose someone else from that sector."

"Siren, this is... was..."

"Was right," she finished the sentence for him and his head bobbed up so quickly that he was shocked when she touched his cheek so tenderly and then said, "I love you, too, Allen."  Before either one of them could stop themselves, they were in each other's arms again, kissing each other passionately, and once again, Allen found himself unbuttoning her blouse. 

"Oh Siren," he uttered softly as he began to nuzzle her neck.

Another beating sound caught his attention, he paused then continued before another beating came.  Growling and moaning, Allen McAllister slowly opened his eyes and heard another loud knocking at his door.  "Great," he muttered as he looked at the clock.  "Who could it be at ten in the morning on a Sunday to interrupt such a wonderful dream?"

Grabbing his robe from the end of the bed, he put it on as he exited the room.  Opening the door, he was surprised and a bit flabbergasted.  "Siren, what are you doing here?" he asked feeling a bit of deja vu overwhelming him. 

"Allen, we need to talk."