"The Leap Back"

Al....Whooomp whoomp whooomp hahahaha!
-- Sam, slapping Al in a Three Stooges-like fashion. "The Leap Back"

Come on you rotten pile of Gummi Bears!
-- Al, "The Leap Back" <smacking the handlink>

Do you know what this means?
It's MY turn to slip into the powder room like the Invisible Man ...it's my turn.
-- Sam and Al "The Leap Back"

Al, my name is Al...
Al what?
You think I've forgotten my last name?
I'm about to bet on it.
Well, you'd lose...it's Beckett...Al Beckett.
It's Calavicci...Al Calavicci.
Calavicci? It's not Beckett?
Well, then who the hell is Beckett?
Me...I'm Beckett.
-- Al and Sam, discussing Al's swiss-cheesed memory, "The Leap Back"

Oh, how?
There's nobody home.
-- Al and Sam, "The Leap Back"

Yeah, this is Top Secret and I'm evaluating it for the Pentagon.
That's good enough, put it away.
Put it away.
-- Al and Sam, making an explanation about the handlink, "The Leap Back"

Ask him, how she is.
How she is.
-- Sam and Al, "The Leap Back"

Are you okay?
I'm just a little woozy from the le...uh, flight.
Good catch.
-- Mike the milkman, Al, and Sam, "The Leap Back"

Happy milkman?
-- Sam, "The Leap Back"

I'm don't think I'm going to like this unless.
-- Sam and Al "The Leap Back"

Why do I feel this is gonna be a big number.
-- Al, talking about the half-life of a radium ring, "The Leap Back"

-- Sam, looking at the calendar girl, "The Leap Back"

Boy, did they have women with Big Kasooms!
-- Sam, commenting on Kelly, "The Leap Back"

Are you forgetting who slips you a pound of butter now and then?
I didn't know I was swapping sugar for it.
Well, if a pound of butter is all it takes... I got me a dairy farm that I've...
Stop that!
-- Mike, Kelly, Sam and Al, "The Leap Back"

Oh my Go--, you've got a filthy mind!
YOU'RE the one saying all the dirty things!
-- Sam and Al, talking about the personality switch, "The Leap Back"

I'm sorry Tom, I guess we all have to wash our minds up after this war.
Yeah, especially *HIM*!
-- Kelly and Al, talking about Sam's comments, "The Leap Back"

Al...Al, if you keep this up I'm gonna have to throw a bucket of cold water to separate you two.
-- Sam, commenting on Al's and Suzanne's kissing, "The Leap Back"

Aha, Al... I think that's why you're here... you're here to get Suzanne to sleep with you... marry you.
-- Sam, "The Leap Back"

Ok, Al... get ready to leap!
-- Sam, "The Leap Back"

What are you doing?
Sucking face, pal, with my buddy here, it's very big in the 60's ... 80's.  Sucka... sucka... sucka...
Will you shut up!
-- Clifford, Sam and Al, "The Leap Back"

Well, you're about to find out, Knucklenose!
-- Sam, "The Leap Back"

What are my mother and father going to say about that?
Cancel the church... cancel the reception... cancel the tux, the cake...
-- Clifford and Sam, "The Leap Back"

It's only natural that you have some old yearnings.
Boy, I'd like to satisfy 'em!
-- Clifford and Sam, commenting on Suzanne, "The Leap Back"

Like running barefoot through sprinklers.
I like running barefoot through sprinklers.
Me too.
-- Clifford, Al and Suzanne, "The Leap Back"

You flat-footed, egg-sucking, chicken turd!!
Why don't you tell him how you really feel, Mike?
-- Mike and Kelly, about Clifford, "The Leap Back"

Only we didn't get all the glory.
You just got all the women.
-- Clifford and Al, "The Leap Back"

Well, I'll tell you something... I just had one of Kelly's breakfasts and I feel like I could take on Mike Tyson.
-- Al, "The Leap Back"

We don't even know why you're here.
I think I'm here to kick Clifford's butt!
-- Al, "The Leap Back"

I didn't know you knew how to do that.
I didn't either.
-- Sam and Al, about the kick, "The Leap Back"

You think a one-legged man could do that move?
Uh, sure, if you could drive this truck... worst thing that could happen is that you'd end up on your butt.
-- Mike and Al, about the kick, "The Leap Back"

This isn't fair... Sam!  A beautiful body like that and I'm just thinking pure thoughts!  Damnit!
-- Al, talking about the blonde walking by, "The Leap Back"

Hello Bay-bee!
Don't do that!
Revenge is mine, thus sayeth the hologram!
-- Sam and Al, "The Leap Back"

We'll mail Doc Croznoff a letter with say... a hundred dollars.
For the stamp?
-- Sam and Al, "The Leap Back"

Well, Ziggy you're looking very user friendly.
I see that simo-leaping with Admiral Calavicci has had a positive effect on you.  You're in for some pleasant surprises Dr. Elesee.
-- Sam and Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

Do you have enough...
...data to give you a reasonable, accurate projection as to why Admiral Calavicci has leapt into Crown Pointe, Indiana in the year 1945?
-- Sam and Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

Do you have any data on Admiral Calavicci?
He'll kiss the girls and make them cry.
Oh, ain't that the truth.
-- Sam, Ziggy and Tina, "The Leap Back"

Actually, I was doing quite well absorbing the year until Franklin Delano Roosevelt died...it depressed me.
-- Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

I believe your brain is still slightly magnafluxed, Dr. Beckett... or you'd remember, I never experience guilt.  That's a flaw only found in human computers.  Good night, Doctor... have fun you two.
-- Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

It won't do you any good.
Why did I give him Barbara Streisand's ego?
-- Sam and Donna, "The Leap Back"

Clifford...what a nozzle!
-- Al, "The Leap Back"

What were you doing up here?
Well, uh...
Were you parking in Lover's Lane with that draft dodging nozzle while your boyfriend was risking his life for his country?
I thought you died for your country.
-- Al and Suzanne, "The Leap Back"

And every time Clifford kissed me.  I'd close my eyes and pretend it was you.
Take a hike, Mr. Morals... Calavicci's taking over!
-- Suzanne and Al, "The Leap Back"

You have great eyes.
Are you talking about how they look or my vision?
-- Sam and Donna, "The Leap Back"

God I wish he was here.
I know.
So I could kick his butt!
-- Sam and Donna, talking about Al, "The Leap Back"

Sorry to interrupt your first night of matrimonial bliss in four years...
-- Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

That was a quickie, Dr. Beckett.
-- Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

What do you got on Al?
He's 175.26 centimeters tall, weighs 70.91...
Yes, Doctor?
Give me what I want, baby!
Ooh, if you weren't my FATHER!
-- Sam and Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

...the Crown Point Gazette... isn't THAT a parochial name?
-- Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

Why do human beings die for love?
Check Shakespeare.
Thank you, Doctor.
Not now!
Why not?  With a million gigabyte capacity I'm quite capable of rubbing my tummy, patting my head, and doing a trillion floating point operations at once.
-- Ziggy and Sam, "The Leap Back"

Maybe it just needs a little encouragement too.
-- Suzanne, about the handlink, "The Leap Back"

Al, you didn't!
How could you! ... of course how could you not.
-- Sam, Al and Suzanne, "The Leap Back"

Look, we need to talk alone, okay?  Where's a Men's Room when you need one.
-- Sam, "The Leap Back"

Oh, you poor baby.
Oh, boy.
-- Suzanne and Al, "The Leap Back"

What am I doing?
You Dog!
Well, it's your filthy mind!
Well, I want my mind back!  These choir boy thoughts are driving me nuts!
Well they didn't seem to stop you a few minutes ago.
-- Al and Sam, "The Leap Back"

I've never experienced anything quite like that and I guess I owe that to you.
Yeah, well, I guess I owe you one too.
Just one?
-- Al and Sam, "The Leap Back"

In an apparent double su... double su... <smack>... icide...  suicide, a double suicide!
-- Sam, on the handlink, "The Leap Back"

Damnit, Ziggy! Tell me something I don't know!
Tina is having an affair with Gooshie.
-- Sam and Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

Mmm... GREAT legs, Doctor.
-- Ziggy to Sam, "The Leap Back"

I can't let him die.
And I can't let you go.
-- Sam and Donna, "The Leap Back"

How many times has Al saved my life?
-- Sam and Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

Sam... I love you.
I love you too.
-- Sam and Donna, before Sam leaps again, "The Leap Back"

I love you, Sam.
I love you, Donna.
-- Donna and Sam, as Donna gazes at a 1956 star, "The Leap Back"

Who's going to wait 54 years to deliver a letter?
The post office.
-- Al and Sam, "The Leap Back"

Doctor Beckett, I should warn you that Clifford... too late.
-- Ziggy, "The Leap Back"

Ziggy's not even gonna be a gleam in my eye for another 50 years or so.
-- Sam, "The Leap Back"

You are an amazing woman Donna.
-- Al (to Donna Elesee), "The Leap Back"

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