What are you doing?  That's supposed to help.
Trust me, it won't.
-- Libby and Sam, as Sam throws away the Valium prescription, "Raped"

Rape doesn't happen to my family.  It happens to strangers on the news, not to my sister.
-- Libby, "Raped"

Are you alright Katie?
Do I look alright?
-- Kevin and Sam, "Raped"

You mean the old 'girl says "no" but she really means "yes"' crapola.
-- Al, "Raped"

My third wife charged me with abuse for singing in my sleep.
You sing in your sleep?
Yah [Al starts singing "Volare"]
-- Al and Sam, "Raped"

You're here to charge this guy with rape.
And then I can leap.
Probably?  Al, I can't testify, I wasn't the one who was raped.
Oh, did I say probably?  Oh, no, I meant definitely.  You can leap definitely.  With an 89% probability.  That's the best I can do.
-- Al and Sam, "Raped"

My gut tells me there's a case here.
Oh, your gut tells ME you've got to stop eating at Betty's House of Pies.
-- Det. Shumway and Asst DA Nancy Hudson, "Raped"

I bet my new fishing rod we can win this one.
Your new fishing rod, eh?  That's serious.
-- Det. Shumway and Asst DA Nancy Hudson, "Raped"

How in the hell could anyone know what happened in our house?
That's not the point.
The point is if they read it in here, then they think it's true.
-- Mr and Mrs McBain and Sam, "Raped"

You talk like I'm the one on trial here.
You are.
But he's the rapist.
-- Asst DA Nancy Hudson and Sam, "Raped"

Sweetie, don't be too hard on your mom.  She's a McBain by marriage, not by birth.  She doesn't have the Irish grit that we have.
-- Mr. McBain, "Raped"

There's a 90% chance that you've got to testify.
Testify?  I can't testify, Al, I can't swear to tell the truth when I don't know what the truth is.
-- Al and Sam, "Raped"

All of the sudden, I have this big yearning for milk and cookies.
You got it.  Just give me a minute to bake them.
Bake them?
Moms are too much, aren't they?
-- Sam, Mrs. McBain and Al, "Raped"

Who's Al?
He's kind of my patron saint of hopeless causes.
Come on, Al, we need all the help we can get.
-- Asst DA Nancy Hudson and Sam, "Raped"

What am I suppose to do with your fishing pole anyway?
You can lend it to me once a week.
-- Hudson and Shumway, "Raped"

Sam! Do something!
{Sam kicks Kevin in the groin}
That'll work.
-- Al, "Raped"

~Al: Swoon.
Sam: Huh?
Al: Swoon. Faint. Pass out. Take a dive. Wilt.
Al: That was a good swoon, Sam. "Raped"

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