"The Wrong Stuff"

Al, I'm a chimp.
You're lucky you didn't leap in as a bull frog!
-- Sam and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

My name is Sam.
-- "Bobo", "The Wrong Stuff"

You leaped into the space program, Sam.
I've leaped into a diaper!
Wait a minute, this is fantastic, you're a chimponaut!
-- Al and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

What about the Quantum Rules?  You have to at least pretend that you are who you leap into.
That's if I'm a human.  I'm not a human, I'm a chimp.  We don't have rules for chimps, do we?
You can't get off on a technicality.
-- Al and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Why don't you take that banana and peel it.
-- Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

I'm in the body of a chimp, that's too close.
-- Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Boy, makes me wish I was an ape.
Good, you're acting like one.
-- Al and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Spending the night as an astrochimp wasn't as bad as it might seem. My bed was firm, the food was free, and the company was more than friendly.  The only thing I really needed was a shave--over my entire body.
-- Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Okay, let's see your diaper.
No, no, NO N*O!!
Okay, have it your way.  Legs down.  Stay.
Nobel prize in physics and I'm fighting to keep my diaper on.  What's next?  <splat>
Corey, stop flirting with Bobo.
Sorry I asked.
-- Dr. Ashton and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Lady, I need to tell you something that's probably going to come as a terrible, terrible shock to you--I am NOT a chimp. [Corey raspberrys him] No offense, okay?
-- Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

"My name is Sam."  That's a good one doctor, "my name is Sam."
You had me for a second there.
-- Dr. Tucker (to Dr. Ashton), reading Sam's note, "The Wrong Stuff"

So is this one of your future astronauts?
Not if I can help it!
-- Dr. Winger and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Even though my memory was Swiss-cheesed, I couldn't forget the early days of the space race.  In our mad dash to beat the Russians, we quickly put together a space program and shot anything and everything up into the air.  I only hoped I wouldn't be one of the anythings.
-- Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

She can see you, Al.
Of course.  All animals can see me.  But she's only got eyes for you.
-- Sam and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

I've got to get out of here.
What are  you going to do?  Go work for an organ grinder?
-- Sam and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

She grew up in the place that makes the wrappers for my Chivello cigars.
-- Al (how typical!!), "The Wrong Stuff"

Al, do you have any information??  Helpful information, not caterpillars.
-- Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Come on Sam, you earned it, you eat it.  How's it taste?
You ever eat from a cat box?
-- Al and Sam, regarding `Chimp Chow', "The Wrong Stuff"

You took Corey to Dr. Winger's lab, didn't you.
Who told you that?
Who are you supposed to be, Dr. Dolittle?
-- Dr. Ashton and the lab slime, "The Wrong Stuff"

What about Corey?
She and Bobo have a baby.
Oh no, thank goodness I won't be around for that.
-- Sam and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

One of these guys is definitely going into space ... or girls, sorry Corey.
-- Dr. Ashton, "The Wrong Stuff"
Corey's having her first crush.
-- Dr. Ashton, "The Wrong Stuff"

Ok guys, cocktail time ... Hey Bobo, it's raspberry-pineapple ... I mixed in your favorite protein - caterpillars.
-- Dr. Ashton, "The Wrong Stuff"

I'd sure like to play Doctor with this one.
-- Al, about Dr. Ashton, "The Wrong Stuff"

(Corey grabs the tranquilizer gun)
Sam, don't say a word.
They wouldn't understand me if I said anything.
-- Al and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

Come on Bobo, you can admire yourself after I examine you, come on.
-- Dr. Ashton, "The Wrong Stuff"

That's funny.  I've never seen you stand so erect.
-- Dr. Ashton to "Bobo", "The Wrong Stuff"

This is NOT funny.
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
-- Sam and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

No thanks, I'm not in the mood, sorry.
I think she is Sam, I think she likes you.
-- Sam, to Corey, and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

Ziggy found out there's this stuff they give to chimps that's supposed to be a health drink...  it's full of...
Caterpillars.  (pointing to the drink-holder)
-- Al and Sam, "The Wrong Stuff"

I don't have a temperature...  I don't need any more tests today...  oh okay, go ahead.  <opening mouth> Ahhhhhh....
Sam, I don't think she's gonna put it in your mouth.
Aaahhhhh boy.
- Sam and Al, "The Wrong Stuff"

That's if I'm a human. I'm not a human--I'm a chimp. We don't have rules for chimps, do we?
--Sam in "The Wrong Stuff"

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