"A Hunting We Will Go"

The Bus Journey

Sam is sitting next to the window asleep with his hat pulled down over his eyes. Diane is reaching across him to the window pushing it wide open.

Diane: I think I'm going to be sick - oh God this bus thing -
Sam: Yes, ok
Diane: They make me sick – fresh air.
(Diane is lying over him pushing herself toward the window. Sam shuts the window.)
Sam: That is just too much.
Diane: Oh.
Sam: Too much.
(He pushes her back into her seat. She leans forward and retches.)
Sam: Oh wait a minute ok, ok , oh, oh, ok.
(He swings her round so that they have switched seats.)
Sam: OK, better.
(Diane continues to appear to be bus sick. There are mutters of "bathroom" from the other passengers.)
Diane: Please, please.
Sam: Here we go, just stay by the window, get some air, get some air and I'm going to go take a little walk and stretch my legs, you know.
(Sam reaches to undo the handcuffs. Diane immediately perks up.)
Diane: I feel better already.
(As she speaks Sam is handcuffing her to the base of the seat in front.)
Diane: I don't believe it.
Sam: OK
(Al appears and immediately bends down to stare at Diane.)
Al: Hi Sam.
(Sam walks off down the bus.)
Sam: This way. Now listen Al...
(He realizes that Al is not following him. Al is still starring at Diane.)
Al: Maxine... Maxine, Maxine, Maxine... oh Maxine.
Sam: Do you mind? Come on. (whistles for Al)
Al: Sorry Sam.
(Diane has been tugging away at the handcuffs and assumes Sam was speaking to her.)
Diane: Sorry.
(Al starts to walk down the bus)
Al: Maxine.
Sam: Her name is Diane not Maxine.
Al: Huh...yeah, I know that. Her resemblance to Maxine just blows my mind.
Sam: Al what else have you found out?
Al: Well Diane is innocent and you have to clear her.
Sam: That is what Ziggy said?
Al: That's the way I interpret the data.

Back to top