Episode 12 - Disccussing difficult and controversial topic with respect.


Project QL Intern
Oct 6, 2022
I am starting this topic because I believe this episide was *meant* to foster discussion.

We can totally agree to disagree and have different viewpoints but I ask that we refrain from attacking one another in any way.

I am at heart and nature a centrist. I try to take a moderate, fair and middle ground on most topics.

I also have my own life experiances, emotions, predjudices, flaws, and knee jerk reactions - all humans do.

So lets discuss difficult topics while trying to imagine walking a mile in someone else's shoes , just like Sam and Ben.

My own personal thoughts will follow.
The following are my own personal thoughts.

I have mixed feelings about this episode, very mixed. On multiple levels.

So if I've done my math right this would have been the final episode of season 1 originally - unless they changed things. The original series used "Color of Truth" in a similar way. So I can see why it kinda makes sense still its a bold move. Would it have been good or bad for the season to end this way - it would get people talking so I guess thats good.

The episode itself, its a good story with heart but I think Shakina being a first time director on her own story shows a bit here - it does come off a bit "after school special". I also really really wish *any* topic other then transgender athletes had been the focus because that specific aspect of transgender rights is a bloody mine-field that feels like a complete and total no-win situation.

I am a big believer in giving everyone no matter how or why they are different a full life. Transgender women deserve a full and complete life, and that includes sports and sports based scholarship opportunities. Biological women *also*deserve these things. So do kids with disabilities. Or kids who are different in other ways.

Here is the thing the average transgender woman is taller and stronger then the average cis-gender woman. There are a few women who are athletically capable of competeing in some sports on a co-ed team, most are not.

If a transwoman happens to be within the range of cis-gender women by chance or by taking hormones from an early enough age maybe it is fair.

We need a solution that doesn't ostrasize, anyone, gives everyone, the same opportunities and chances, and is fair to everyone.

We already have traumatizimg and dehumanizing physical exams and issues surrounding both disabled and transgender athletes.

Some sports have weight classes.

Should we totally have transgender athletics, yes, but we are a long way from being in that place - could we also allow x number of transgender slots on each team and x number of scholarships for transgender women.

That seems reasonable. The trans athletes are still likely to dominate the sport or game but they do so without knocking out cis gender women until such time as we get to some kind of better solution.

As for locker rooms, can we get non-binary locket rooms for those who might have body parts that are different then thier identity - well first we need to build then and make sure those people still feel included properly.

How about a curtain or closed changing stal and shower in the women's locker room where the transwoman can very much be part of all conversations without creating an extremly visible reminder of thier physical difference - broom closet is bad but just changing and showering in full physical sight of the other girls is a bit much. So practical solutions are making an inexpensive curtain where there is seperation without exclusion.

Then we come to another topic - this episode was triggering - it barely just barely touched upon the fact that trangender kids are not the only kids go through hell. Sure Gia was right to call her Dad out on not really knowing but do I believe that Ben Song a hypersmart kid from a non-white ethnicity has some idea what it feels like - yes I do. Was it on parallell with Gia's experiance, maybe, maybe not.

Yes the statistics for the trans community are awful and heartbreaking but a lot of kids and a lot of other communities have it pretty awful too.

The reality is that even a small difference can be magnified by those around you into this absolute chasm of hell between you and those around you. There are hidden differences aka "passing" and visible ones and if people around you make your life hell then it doesn't matter *what* that difference is - you can ruin that kid's life or cause them to end it.

People who are different are not more prone to mental health issues because we are "weaker" we go through trauma and a lot of it. And then if you are unlucky it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy of spiraling mental health as showing any issues becomes proof that you are broken and unworthy.

We need to stop treating different as some kind of plague and start supporting everyone into having a life with meaning.

My childhood was brutal, the world just had a different excuse. I was marginalized for being different, I was punished for developing behaviors that were a direct result of abuse, and told that being different was anathema. I too almost took my own life
So yes I *do* know. My childhood was miserable, an awful experiance that no one should have. I know exactly what it feels like to have teachers, the school, your parents, your peers and more say awful and hurtful things about you. I also know exactly how being bullied and gas lit can lead to suicide without depression. I know exactly how hopeless and powerless you can feel. I know about crying yourself to sleep almost every night. Hating school because despite loving to learn it was torture.

I am not trans, I have enough reasons to be different. I like to think I've excised predjudice from my life.

I know what it is to settle for a 10th or a quarter of a life and try to be happy. No it isn't right but you don't get to crush me anymore then I get to crush you on the road to fixing this.

Shakina if you are reading this, that unintended message hurt and I know you didn't mean it to come off that way. Trans right matter - getting society past different must be crushed and extinguished matters more then any one marginalized group. Divide and conquer vs Unite and support each other - it shouldn't be to much to ask.

Lets unite and celebrate our weirdness, our differences, no matter what they are.

These are my raw feelings and my analysis.

Feel free to agree to disagree and offer other viewpoints. Just be respectful and try not to attack others.

I hope that is what I did.
RE: Locker room.

That just sounds like "separate but equal," and I'm not interested in going down that road; we've already seen what kind of bull can be pulled with that phrase.


Not sure I understand what unintended message it is that you got from the episode.

The message I got is that trans kids are *disproportionately* affected by how they're treated, and it's a big issue. It's not saying we shouldn't care about other people dealing with similar emotional issues (I myself am neurodivergent and have had my moments over the years). This episode was not saying "trans rights matter more"; it was saying "trans rights matter, TOO" (just like how "Black Lives Matter" keeps getting interpreted as if people are saying black lives are more important... but that's not at all what that movement is saying; it's saying "Black lives matter, TOO").
I went into this thread expecting to be enraged. I wasn't.

Transgendered people need to have the same rights as everyone. That includes gender affirming care (hello boob jobs, nose jobs, lasik eye surgery, etc.).

Sports is complicated. Schools pay WAY too much attention to it in the first place. Careers are born and die because of sports. I don't think it should be that way. But it is. Should the most effective and successful basketball teams get that automatically because they have trans women members?

The problem here is that we spend billions of dollars on sports, televise them 24/7 on two dozen channels, countries spend all this money on the Olympics, and so what should be an extracurricular activity really MATTERS to everyone. Like life or death or physical threat. Tonya Harding's husband anyone?

I don't know the answer. People shouldn't be excluded. People should be allowed to reach their fullest potential in everything they do. Life isn't fair, but every effort has to be made to make sports fair. I don't know how you do that.

Alternative media banging the drum, throwing around the term "groomer", banning books and firing teachers is NOT helping this conversation.